Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, December 18, 2014

New Guest Dumbass - The Pink Noam! Uk Dumb-Arsery

Attention Dumbasses!

Please give a rousing Dumbass Horde Welcome to a brand spankin' new Guest Post Dumbass --- all the way from across the Pond...the UK's Most Popular Nekkid Blogger, The Pink Noam!

I'm an English bloke,  and so for this, my first guest post on Dumbass News, I felt it appropriate to share a story of somebody in the UK being a Dumbass Dumb-Arse.

The original story is here.

There is a lady in Manchester, UK who managed to get herself struck by a Metrolink tram.

This woman is neither blind nor deaf (although she might be now, having managed to get her head dented by a tram) and yet somehow she managed to 'accidentally' get in the way of a slow-moving, gigantic yellow noisy-beast of a contraption and cause herself a head injury.

Here's a picture of the vehicle in question:

Note the gigantic yellow-ness of it.

Apparently, this particular Dozy Doris was crossing the road with a friend, presumably indulging in frivolous conversation about knickers or shoes or something, and she managed to get her head bashed by the tram.

Actually, maybe they weren't talking at all and were in fact both staring at their mobile (cell) phone screens instead of paying attention to what was going on around them. Yes. I'm going with that.

Now, you can be damn sure that the driver of this tram was tooting away on his horn right up until the collision and she still didn't notice.

These trams come with 2 horns. The first is a friendly-sounding, yet very loud 'toot' that warns you a tram is approaching, you can hear it from a good 300 yards away at least.

The second can only described as the "HEY!! DICKHEAD! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY, YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE FLATTENED BY A GIANT, YELLOW, TRAVELLING AT TWO MILES-AN-HOUR, METAL FUCKING GIANT TRAIN. FUCKING MOVE!!" horn.

If the Earth is about to be destroyed by a comet or some shit, then they will use this same noise to let us all know, since you can probably hear it from Mars. My point is, it's very loud.

AND SHE STILL GOT HIT BY A TRAM.

Dumb Arse.



Butts-McCracken & Other Dumbass Engaged Couples Names!

Best of Dumbass News

Marriage.....

For better or worse.

In sickness and in health.

My name sucks, so does yours.

But together they are poetry.


He'll Need That On the Honeymoon

Match Made in Heaven

Better Pissed Off Than Pissed On

Milwaukee's Best

More Like Looney Toons

Bad Joo Joo for the Honeymoon Night

Goin' Deep

As Long as They Ain't Dancin'

Sticky Situation

I Wonder If She'll Hyphenate Her Name?


Dumbasses.


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Santa Claus & His Old Lady: A Dumbass Christmas Story as Told by Cheech & Chong!

Vatos
Roll a Fattie and dig it, man.




Oh, woooww, man.

Dumbasses.

Images of a Dumbass Christmas!



It's only one week until the Fat Jolly Guy (no, not your Uncle Schlomo!) makes his annual trip around the world leaving lots of goodies to boys and girls who have been monstrous little fuckers nice children over the past year.

Santa will also be leaving Ma and Pa Dumbass in credit card debt until next July...just so they can start all over to go further in debt for next Christmas! 

Therefore, it is in the Spirit of Christmas (and looming financial ruin) that we observe this wonderful Yuletide Season through the eyes of The Dumbass of Christmas Present.


Three Hoes

I thought his name was "Felix Navidad".
In th Spirit of Hubba Hubba

Paper that has "Bitches" & "Hoes" printed all over it.

We'll talk about the first thing that pops up between us.

o
Connoisseur of the Common Sewer.

Santa's Deep, Dark Secret

Batteries Not Included

I bet that palm comes in "handy".

Covering All the Bases

Dumbasses.
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