Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, August 1, 2014

Lessons in Dumbassery!

Best of Dumbass News

Love it or hate it, Facebook actually does have some good qualities about it.

Not many, but some.

One cool thing about FB is that there's a shit load of funny stuff on there.

And Dumbasses - tons of Dumbasses.

You can join the Facebook Dumbass Horde by clicking on the Facebook logo in the sidebar over there -->

Anyway....thanks to several members of the Facebook Dumbass Horde, I offer you....

....Dumbass Logic!



Necessity Is the Mother of Invention...and Dumbassery

Rum & the Tooth Fairy Are "Friends

Kitchen (First) Aid

iDumbass

Beats the Hell Out of the Olympics

Vengeance Is Mine!

I Prefer to Use Wrought Iron
Things We Have Learned From Facebook

  • Three gallon buckets make nifty motorcycle helmets.
  • The Tooth Fairy is a Friend of Bill the AA Guy.
  • Some Moms are willing to rip their children's tongues by the roots.
  • It's very difficult to lick the beaters with your tongue severed at the roots.
  • iPads are very expensive fly swatters.
  • The woman should have grabbed the newspaper.
  • Hockey Fight Rules should apply to real life.
  • Throat punching included.
  • The Golden Rule, as far as I know, does not include gazebo snipping.
  • A "High 5" can never be taken to the extreme with regard to some people.
  • A ball peen hammer would be an infinitely more effective "High 5" than a chair.
Dumbasses.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Dumbass Photo of the Day: Shopping With the Kids at Wal Mart!

Keeping the kid nearby......


Dumbass.

Dumbass Photos: Divorce Dumbassery!

I have always been a guy who tries to find humor in even the most personal of crummy circumstances.

Like The Big D and I Don't Mean Dallas.

Many of you read this post from the day before yesterday where I told you of the impending dissolution of my marriage to Mrs. Fearless Leader. It is without a doubt a very painful situation, but what do you expect me to do? Wallow in self pity? That ain't gonna happen. There is too much life to live! Too much yonder to be grabbed.

I have way yonder more sunsets behind me than I do in front of me and I am gonna do my damnedest to soak up every ray of sunshine in every friggin' one of them!

It's (sadly) the end of my marriage, not the end of my life. 

This is simply a detour on Life's Highway. 

So, whaddaya say? Let's have a laugh!

Best of Dumbass News

You are more than likely aware that half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce.

While going through the Big D (and I Don't Mean Dallas) is rarely a pleasant experience, it is always the best idea to dissolve a marriage as amicably as possible.

It's also in your best interest to show proper decorum in a Court of Law should your divorce action go that route. Threatening cook and eat the Judge's children does not fall within the guidelines of acceptable behavior in a legal proceeding.

Everything I just wrote is unquestionably true.

Unless you are a Dumbass.

Dumbasses have an innate ability to turn even something as serious as divorce into a whole other thing.

Observe...




                                  Dumbasses & Divorce

A Rose by Any Other Name...

Cheaper to Keep Her

Yup.

Special Delivery

Luck Favors a Prepared Mind

Losing It All

Just Desserts


Easy Weight Loss

Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold.....Real Cold


Dumbasses.


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Clothes Make the Dumbass Mugshots!

Even going to jail can be funny and/or ironic.

Observe.


Maybe not.

You are now!

I once was lost...

You should have shaved your ass.

In more ways than one.

Great? Not so much.

I bet you have.

Cross one off the List.

You just can't but advertising like this!

The last word.

Dumbasses.

After 15 Years in the Slammer for Robbing Store, Guy Robs Same Store Again!

Best of Dumbass News

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Many successful people will tell you that this mantra is the foundation upon which they eventually built their fortunes.

It is important to note here that a lot of prosperous folks are Dumbasses, but few Dumbasses are prosperous.

Take me, for example.

I am a Dumbass.

I am a Fearless Leader.

I am The Main Motherfucker of a Blogging Empire.

But, I am far from "successful", as in "rolling in the dough".

I am, however, doing very fucking well at "floundering in the depths of despair and poverty".

The Solution to my hopelessness would be for you Dumbasses to hit the "Donate" up in the top right of the page and actually, you know, donate a few bucks to the Lift Fearless Leader From the Depths of Despair and Poverty Fund. Five dollars a month (that's the price of two 40s, yo) from each of you would elevate Your Fearless Leader to a station in life that we Texans call Walkin' in High Cotton. 

The Other Side of Try, Try Again

When a man hones and develops a certain level of skill at something, it often leads to financial security.

Other times it leads to Social Security.
Christopher M. Miller, Loser

Or prison.

Christopher Miller of Toms River, New Jersey had an idea to perfect a much-in-demand skill for Garden State Dumbasses - armed robbery. 

With much dedication and enthusiasm, Chris set out to achieve his dream.

So he robbed a shoe store, tied up a bunch of employees, packed them into a back room and made off with his ill-gotten gains.

Then he got busted.

This was in 1999.

After his first foray as a Felon In Training, Chris had fifteen long years to ready himself for his next maneuver into malfeasance.

That's how long he was in the Slammer.

After paying his decade and a half debt to society, Chris was released back into the Outside World.

With the Taste of Liberty still tickling his taste buds, Christopher Miller did what any red-blooded American Shit-for-Brains would do with his new found Freedom - he immediately returned to the same shoe store he had knocked off oh so many years ago to reminisce.

And rob the place again!

He is being held on $100,000 bail.

Dumbass.

***Hat Tip to Mrs. Fearless Leader, MishMawsh and Other things Bad Ass***
***Thanks to CBSLocal in NYC***
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