Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Pennsylvania Dumbass is Even a Subpar Dumbass, Needs Lessons : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Pennsylvania Dumbass is Even a Subpar Dumbass, Needs Lessons

20th Class Reunion, Class of 1975
The story that I am writing about today hit pretty close to home. While reading it, I thought of any number of friends from high school, becoming more nostalgic with each sentence I read. What follows is that heartwarming tale with my thoughts scattered throughout. Concordville, Pennsylvania is the setting for this story that rekindles the memories of so long ago. Yes, some of my friends were dumbasses back then. I say that with love in my heart, guys.

Matthew Huston is a pussy. Matt was attending his 20th High School reunion with former classmates and was having a blast. He had such a blast, he got blasted. Drunk. Inebriated. FUBAR'ed. After consuming several adult beverages, Matt was asked to leave. He refused. So a couple of guys cornered Matt and were escorting him out of the restaurant where the reunioners had gathered. mat, ever the dumbass drunk, saw an opportunity for a grand exit as he and his two escorts passed a bartender. BLAP! Matt cold cocked the poor guy. The good guys finally got Matt outside as someone inside the restaurant called the cops.

Dumbass Matt, feeling left out and still drunk, was headed back into the eatery when State Troopers arrived and tried to restrain him. Matt took exception to their intervention into his drunken dumbass escapades and he smacked a State Trooper. Dumbass move, Matt. At this point, I can see in my mind, certain high school buddies that would do the same thing as Matt did. Again, I say that with love in my heart, fellas. :)  However, Matt is a sissy compared to my drunken friends at our 20th HS Reunion, the loveable dumbasses. My guys would have at the very least broken a couple of tables and chairs, some bar drink glasses and a few noses for good measure. State Troopers? Child's play. For my old chums, it would have taken the Texas Rangers to get control of the situation. So, Matt, you are even a pussy as a drunk dumbass. For your next big reunion, Cupcake, call some of my boys back home. They can show you how to make it worthwhile and fun to accrue a few felonies. They are dumbasses with style, panache and a low tolerance for liquor! But they are damned good felons, Matt. You dumbass.

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of some of the $%^&@ I saw when I spent too much time with my older bro. Learned early that guys 18 yrs old (instead of 16 yrs old like I was) were much bigger dumbasses & helluva lot meaner. It may have had something to do with amt of beer they consumed before the mayhem started.

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