Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Leave the Shiny Knife Alone, Boys : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Leave the Shiny Knife Alone, Boys

Those fun-loving Scandis are at it again, those silly pranksters. And by pranksters, I mean you stab another guy at your party. Let me splain.

These two Swedish guys were at a party when the conversation shifted to a knife proof vest that one of these dumbasses had recently bought. Much like some of my buddies back in Texas, these two dumbass Scandis were bound and determined to test out this knife proof vest. I gotta tell ya, there's nothing like being three sheets to the wind and doing some quality control testing on a little body armor. But, my buddies is Texas use a Kevlar vest and AK-47s during their quality control experiment. But, I digress. of the Scandi dumbasses put on the knife proof vest and told his friend to stab him. So the friend stabs Dumbass No.1. Wow! That vest really works! Now it's Dumbass No.2's chance to see how effective the knife proof vet is, so he puts it on, braces himself and STAB! The vest DID NOT WORK! But, it wasn't a defect in the vest that caused Dumbass No.2 to receive a stab wound, it was Dumbass No.1 who was at fault! Dumbass No.1 stabbed Dumbass No.2 where there was no protection from the vest! Simply put, Dumbass No.1 missed the vest entirely and stabbed his friend! Holy Husqvarna, Batman! Frakkin' dumbass.

Dumbass No.2 was taken to the hospital and treated for a minor stab wound and released. Dumbass No.1 was no doubt made fun of, mocked, ridiculed and otherwise became the laughing stock of  his hometown of Vittsjo. The word "Vittsjo" is Super Sekret Subversive Scandi Code Talk for "Vittsjo, Home to the Biggest Dumbass in Sweden and Bring Your Own Knife Proof Vest, Get Drunk and Give It a Try!"  What fun Vittsjo must be, huh? At least nobody was seriously injured, but this incident put a damper on any further partying for the night. What a bummer. I am 100% certain that the Commie Swedish gubmint will now pass a law for Knife Proof Vest Control, complete with background checks and a Knife Proof Vest Training Class. Dumbasses.

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