Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: A Wet Laptop and a Ferocious Chihuahua : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, July 21, 2011

A Wet Laptop and a Ferocious Chihuahua

KILLER!
(Dateline - Deep in the bowels of Heather's keyboard) My 4 year old daughter Bailey has banished me to this foreign land. I am using my wife's computer because Bailey loves Daddy so much she dumped a full bottle of water (16.9 oz) all over my laptop. R. I. P. Laptop. Enough said.

Speaking of chihuahuas (<---clever segue), in Altadena, California, two would-be robbers turned out to be two honest-to-goodness pussies when they tried to rob a local "smoke shop". A "smoke shop" in California is the pseudonym for "Buy Your Bong Here" shop. The two dumbasses were thwarted in their attempted heist by a) a 12 gauge wielding store owner, b) an off duty policeman or c) a man-eating chihuahua. If you said a or b, you are a dumbass. These two pansies were scared off by a fucking dog the size of a large grapefruit! The stotre's video surveillance system " shows the store owner begin to place money into a backpack worn by one of the robbers while his Chihuahua starts barking loudly and forcefully at the men. 

Investigators said the robbers were apparently spooked by the dog and fled the store with less money than they could have obtained from the store owner. 

The video depicts the Chihuahua follow the men from the store and chase them down the street." Really? A chihuahua? A fucking chihuahua? Will the last real man in The Land of Fruits and Nuts please stand up? Oh, wait, there are none. Forgive me for that slip of the fingers.

When I was a young man, I was not always within the parameters of the law nor decorum. I have been chased by mad husbands, the cops and angry men with guns, but I swear on my Grandma's grave, not once was I EVER chased away from where I shouldn't have been by a chihuahua! But then again, I not from California. 

Dumbasses.

UPDATE: Thanks to my wife Heather for the use of her computer while mine lay destroyed by Bailey the 4 Year Old.

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