Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dunkin Donuts In Connecticut Is the Target of a Dumbass Bomb Threat : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, August 15, 2011

Dunkin Donuts In Connecticut Is the Target of a Dumbass Bomb Threat

Those whacky knuckleheads at Dunkin Donuts have made the news again. It's nothing that Dunkin has done to bring all this attention to themselves, rather another Dunkin customer who who's had one too many Coolattas. On the heels of a recent story about I wrote about a Dunkin employee selling her "eclair"  through the drive thru window, comes the news of another dumbass who has had one too many glazed donuts from the venerable donut chain. Let me splain.

Down in Connecticut (it's down in Connecticut from where I sit anyway), a lady pulled into the drive thru, ordered a drink and handed the Dunkin employee a package and a note. The note said that the package was a bomb(!) and sped away. After taking a large poop in her pants, the clerk called the cops, who eventually discovered that there was no bomb in the package. The obvious question is "why would someone want to bomb a Dunkin Donuts store?". I mean, the coffee from Dunkin tastes like strained pig shit, but is that a good excuse to threaten the poor people at the store with a bomb? Of course not. Maybe the would-be bomber is a disgruntled former employee and she was upset that Dunkin dismissed her for eating up the profits. Or maybe she's a pissed off customer who has a caffeine problem. Or maybe she's just a lunatic. I vote for lunatic. And dumbass. All lunatics are dumbasses.

I publish this column not as a dig at Dunkin Donuts, but as a public service to you, my dumbass readers. I urge you be vigilant when you patronize your neighborhood Dunkin Donuts. Be on the lookout for suspicious customers who look like he/she could be the next dumbass to be featured on this very blog. You know the type. They are the ones who offer you their "eclair" or hand you a package with a bomb threat note attached to it.

America runs on Dunkin indeed.

Dumbasses.


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