Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: SSA Says Lady is Alive; Lady Says Nothing; She's DEAD : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

SSA Says Lady is Alive; Lady Says Nothing; She's DEAD

Under Gubmint Control
Yesterday we read about a bank that declared a lady dead, but she really wasn't , despite her best efforts to prove otherwise by doing things like showing up at the bank and, you know, breathing and stuff. Today's story is along the same lines except vice versa. A lady died but the US Gubmint kept sending her Social Security checks for years! That would have been a good gig for a non-dead person. But for dead people? Not so much.

The dead lady in question is the late, and I mean real late, Gladys Stansbury of Jennings, Missouri. Gladys' body was found mummified when neighbors called the police to report the daughter had not been seen for several days. Ms. Stansbury had been living in her home with her daughter, who was also found dead inside the house(!), when she died. Although I am not a scientist and I don't play one on TV, I can only deduce from this story that death is contagious. Therefore, if you have any dead people in your house, I would highly recommend that you give them a proper Christian/Jewish/Athiest/Whatever burial or throw the body into the nearest fast-flowing river and forget you ever knew the dead guy. I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, the Gubmint kept sending Gladys her monthly Social Security checks for years after she died. Is this a great country or what? I would make a snarky comment here about Gubmint inefficiency and bureaucracy, but I'll leave that to a saying I saw on a T-shirt at the Eastport, Maine 4th of July Festival. The shirt was worn by an Indian from a near-by reservation at Pleasant Point. The slogan said, "Trust the Government? Ask an Indian."

I also have a slogan for the bureaucratic dipshits at the SSA, with whom I have been fighting for over a year just to get my own money from the blood sucking bastards. My motto is as follows: Kiss. My. Ass. Numbnuts. Or die trying.Your check is in the mail.


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