Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Flying Your Gazebos at 75 MPH : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, October 3, 2011

Flying Your Gazebos at 75 MPH

Sunroofs. Those wonderful holes in the roof of your car that can turn a 100 degree day into a mere 95 degree day in a matter of seconds - shooting a jet stream of hot air through your car that could fry eggs on the center console. I am not too big a fan of sunroofs. Sure, they are nice to have sometimes, but the risk of leaking rain like a keg of beer at a Frat party and, when it's not raining, whistling the theme to The Andy Griffith Show  while cruising the nearest interstate make sunroofs as useless as tits on a boar hog, in my opinion.

CAUTION: Do Not Use for Gazebo Exposure!
BUT! There is a guy in Florida who has found a groovy new way to utilize the sunroof of his buddy's car - by yanking down his pants, exposing his gazebos to passersby and pretend to be "slappin' his monkey", if you know what I mean and I think you do. Well, the lad in Florida felt the urge to let the rush of fresh air to his gazebos while hauling ass down the highway, but his timing, shall we say, sucked. The car next to to Air on the Gazebos Boy was occupied by an off duty Police officer and his family! i would have pulled out my 44 Auto Mag and blown said gazebos into Kingdom Come, but the nice cop did what had to do which was to call the local authorities. Soon Air to the Gazebos Boy and his friends were pulled over and AOTGB was arrested and charged with being a dumbass while showing his junk in public.

In observing safety, a man should never expose his gazebos through a sunroof while going down a freeway. hae you ever seen the damage a rock thrown from the tire of an 18 wheeler can to do to a windshield? The mere thought of a rock like that striking you in the gazebos brings up pictures of a guy's manhood splattered on the car seat like a 'love bug" smashing into your windshield at 75 mph. Not a pretty sight. Do they make little motorcycle helmets for gazebos? I'm just askin'.

We could go on abut the safety precautions you should employ when flashing your gazebos while traveling at high rate of speed, but the only one that works 100% of the time is Do not expose your gazebos while traveling at a high trate of speed! Got that?

Dumbass.

2 comments:

  1. I do it also because I love the wind rushing through my hair. Besides I am circumcised so I have a little helmet for protection. When I do it in the winter I refer to my German wiener as Helmut Kohld.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beef will be here all week, ladies and gentlemen...

    ReplyDelete

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