Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Florida City Fines Butthurt Dumbass $200,000 for Chickens in Back Yard! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, January 6, 2012

Florida City Fines Butthurt Dumbass $200,000 for Chickens in Back Yard!

But don't keep 'em in your back yard.
You know it's a slow dumbass news day when you are relegated to writing about some asswipe who keeps enough chickens in his back yard to be a supplier to Tyson Foods. How's that a problem? Good question. And I have a good answer; a couple of good answers actually. Answer 1: It's against the law in his town, Hollywood, Florida, to keep poultry in your back yard. Answer 2: The dude is a First Class Asshole who thinks that yard birds are "domestic pets". The city gubmint disagreed.

The City Gubmint Takes Action - BIG Action

The city had warned the guy, Steve Kohn, that he had to get rid of the chickens or face a fine. He kept the birds arguing, as I mentioned above, that they were "domestic pets". The city didn't buy that steaming load and fined Ole Stevie $100 with $250 daily fines to follow. The fines followed. Oh, boy did they follow! they followed all the way up to $200,000! Kohn went back to court recently and the judge in the case ordered the fine reduced to the original $100 saying that city code allowed no more than $100 fine for the offense. 

A city spokesweenie explained that even though Kohn wanted the chickens as domestic pets, they were still poultry and still against city code. 

Now you think that having fine reduced from 200 large to a c-note would make Steve a happy guy. Right? Wrong.

Why Steve Kohn of Hollywood, Florida is a Dumbass

The following statement is something that I never would have even thought of had it not been in the original story. These are the exact words from that article: "Kohn, an orthodox Jew with Moroccan and Syrian heritage, said he believes the city targeted him because of his Middle Eastern ancestry.
"This has nothing at all to do with chickens," Kohn said. They don't want me and my kind here." End quote.

I have a problem with that.

My Problem With It 

I am fairly confident that the city code of Hollywood, Florida regarding the keeping of poultry in the city limits does not include a provision of any kind that says Jews of Morrocan-Syrian heritage are to be singled out with regard to this ordinance. I'm just sayin'.

The city code, I'm sure, does not even include any mention of fining some dickweed because he's dumbass. if it did, it would be called 'The Steve Kohn I'm a Jew of Morrocan-Syrian Heritage and the City of Hollywood, Florida Hates Hebs" Clause. I am also pretty sure that Steve isn't the only Jew living in Hollywood, Florida. he's just the only butthurt Jew living in Hollywood, Florida. I am also go out on a limb here and guess that Steve Kohn, Butthurt Jew, is the only person of the Jewish persuasion who was keeping seventeen chickens in his back yard. But I could be wrong. coughbullshitcough 

Steve, let me explain something to you. Nobody is singling you out because you are a Jew of Morrocan-Syrian extraction, they are singling you out because, how can I say this nicely, you broke the fucking law! It's that simple, Captain Butthurt. 

Another thing, if you stay within the structure of the law, whether you are Jewish, Catholic, Baptist or Holy Roller, you have absolutely no worries about being "singled out" or worrying about people not wanting "your kind" around. On the other hand, people would be idiots wanting "your kind" around. "Your kind" meaning a loudmouth asshole who thinks he's above the law. Your neighbors don't want "your kind" around not because of your ancestry, but because you were trying to make your neighborhood into Green Acres  contradictory to city code! Google Green Acres, Steve, I ain't gonna spell it out for you. 

One last thing, meshuga.  <----a little Yiddish lingo there. Please don't start keeping goats in your back yard. we know what you Morrocan-Syrians like to do to them. You wanted someone who doesn't want "your kind" around? That would be me. fuck off you prick. 

I am sure that those towers of tolerance in Morocco or Syria would let you raise all the chickens in your back yard you want to. I'll start a fund to get you over there if you'd like me to. I've been told that the Syrians just love the people of your faith. Tell them shalom for me when you get there. 



  1. You moron! I live in Hollywood, FL and know Steve Kohn very well. You are very wrong for the following reasons:

    1. The City of Hollywood has no ordinance that specifically prohibits chickens, and if it is not specifically prohibited, it is permitted (I remember that from law school). However, "small domestic animals" ARE specifically permitted as pets in Hollywood, provided said pets are not kept for breeding purposes, and believe me, there is no way to breed hens without roosters.

    2. Chickens are a very common pet in Hollywood. I know many people who keep them, WITH the City's knowledge! A local animal feed store claims to sell enough chicken feed to feed 5,000 chickens to Hollywood residents alone.

    3. The United States has filed a formal complaint against the City of Hollywood because of their discriminatory acts against the Kohns and other Jews of similar heritage.

    4. Mr. Kohn doesn't even have chickens anymore, and hasn't had them in almost a year, so why do you think it's fair for him to be fined $250/day for having once kept them? How long do you think the fine should continue to accrue? Forever???

    5. Mr. Kohn did gratefully accept the ruling reducing the fine to $100. It was the City who appealed, not Mr. Kohn. The City lost the appeal, too, but they continue to refuse Mr. Kohn's repeated written offers to pay the fine in full.

    Why don't you check your facts before spewing them?

    1. Thanks for the comment and the page hit, Dumbass. I just relayed what I found in a UPI story to my readers. If you have a problem with what I wrote, fine. But, if the facts are wrong I'll be happy to correct them and issue Steve Kohn an apology. I can't find the link to the story, but I will see if I can locate it. Better, yet, if you want to write as a Guest Blogger and tell your side of the story, please feel free to do so.

      I have no idea who SK is, all I did was get an email from one of my "Dumbass Sources", in this case, United Press International via and wrote what you read. You can contact me at realdumbassnews AT gmail DOT com.

      Thanks again,
      Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde

  2. Toby don't be fooled..."Anonymous" is Steve Kohn himself, or perhaps his wife or children. Steve Kohn has no friends (for reasons you mention in your original blog). Kudos to you for saying what has been on everyone's mind. What sick people think they can behave however they want and them claim religious discrimination? Only a true DUMBASS

  3. Thanks, Anon. I knew the second that the comments about Stevie "Wonder" Kohn were posted that it was a steaming pile of bull shit. Kohn is evidently a Liberal Pussy who makes outrageous claims of discrimination in order to stir up a bunch of other Liberal Pussies.

    Hey, Steve! Discriminate on THIS, Schmuck!


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