Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Doc Will Snip Your Gazebos & Give You a Pizza! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, March 19, 2012

Doc Will Snip Your Gazebos & Give You a Pizza!

Hold the Little Balls

As we all know, the economy is in pretty rough shape. As a result, many retailers are offering incentives for you to shop at their business. You know what I mean...but 1 get 1 free, late night sales that offer deep discounts, etc. I found a business with an incentive that tops anything you've ever seen before. It's so unique that it is Dumbass Worthy.

Snip Snip

A doctor in Sandwhich. Massachusetts had a plan for all you guys on the go. This specia;l gives new meaning to the term "March Madness". For you men about town, Dr. Evan Cohen is offering with each vasectomy in March, a FREE pizza! Yes, men, while some guy is fooling around with your nut sack, you can enjoy a nice, hot pepperoni pizza! Pepperoni. Ironic, ain't it? The pizza of course contains no sausage balls. I'm just sayin'.

Dr. Cohen says that this is the busiest time of year in his clinic for men who seek vasectomies, so he thought a little enticement might boost business. Why he chose pizza I don't know. It seems to me that hookers would be more appropriate. I mean shouldn't a guy make test run with his newly snipped huevos rancheros.

Great Idea

Personally, I think this is a great idea. Not necessarily pizza as the premium, though. I think the good Doctor should give away a Cadillac or something with every 20th nut cuttin'. Now that would bring in the business. Think about it. Here are these guys who are giving up ever being a father again and all Dr. Cohen offers is a pizza? C'mon, Doc. Up the ante a little. However. it's quite possible that we don't want the vasectomees to reproduce again. They are in Massachusetts after all. But, I digress.

From a marketing standpoint, this is pure genius though. Professionals from all walks of life should give this promotion a try. Lawyers could give away a free divorce or write your will for free. Baby doctors give pass out free diapers, etc.

This whole idea does bring up a question though. What would a proctologist use as an incentive for a colonoscopy?

Nevermind. I don't wanna know.



  1. I would give away a starter pistol (shoots blanks)for a vasectomy, and maybe an auger or toilet bowl snake for the colonoscopy. Which reminds me it's about time for my annual toilet cleaning.

  2. I'd be happy if the Doc just didn't bring out a chain saw.


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