Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Texting for Dumbasses : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Texting for Dumbasses

I am a technology nut. I love gizmos and gadgets - cell phones, GPS, audio equipment, the new high tech TVs, software and of course, computers and the peripherals that go with them . I am not an expert on electronic playthings by any stretch of the imagination, but I can get around them pretty good.

As much as I love to jack around with expensive electronics, I have a pet peeve about cell phones. Texting. I see absolutely no value in texting unless you are bored with the sermon at Church or in a public library, then all bets are off. I wouldn't text in Church, however, because the Lord can kick your ass in mysterious ways. In the library, even the Man Upstairs doesn't care.

Weird Texts

On December 17, 2010 I wrote about my experience with a strange text message on my new cell phone. Here's the deal: " Come on over. I have the dope and it's some good shit. And we've got lots of it." I thought to myself that having this text on my cell phone record might not be a very good thing. Long story short, I called the cops they were very familiar with Shawn, so they took all the info they needed and left. To this day, I have heard nothing else about this incident. But, I'd be willing to bet that Shawn is not a happy dumbass at this moment."

still don't know what happened after that.

A couple of months later I wrote about a web site called Texts From Last Night . TFLN has some hilarious texts made by dumbasses from every spectrum of the Dumbass Horde. One outstanding example of what people actually text their friends about is this beauty:

Actual Screenshot
Replies (41) Good night (5385) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
So romantic.

Dumbass Text of the Day

A guy in Edmonds, Washington was on the run from the law and the two felony arrest warrants that were issued for him. Nothing really new there. Jason Wrenchy thought he was successful in evading the cops. Then he sent a text. To a cop. Hilarity ensued.

Long story short...the policeman that got the text didn't recognize the phone number it came from, so he decided to run it through the Police Computer to see to whom the number belonged. Yep. Jason Wrenchy. After discovering this information, the cop did some serious police work. He sent Brother Jason a text under an assumed name and arranged a meeting. Not knowing he was communicating with a cop, Jason willingly supplied his address.

Game over for Jason. He has since been housed courtesy of the State of Washington at the Penitentiary for the Criminally Dumbass. He has also changed his name to "June" and enjoys taking it up the ole Hershey Highway from other inmates with handles like "Spike" and "The Hammer" These days Jason/June doesn't fart he "poofs" if you know what I mean and I think you do.

All this over a stoopid frakkin' text message.

C U L8R.



  1. I recently tried sexting but my d--k kept pressing the wrong letters. How do they do that?

    1. Use a bigger keyboard. Geesh. :)

    2. And... don't forget to cover your pecker tracks when you're done.

    3. Bones...Beef is really a Slapaho Nation Tribal Chief. His name is Chief Leave Three Tracks in Snow.

  2. I speak Slapaho. Did you know that name translates into tripod? Lucky guy... at least he has more stability in a high wind blowing across the Plains.


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