Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Penis Enlargement Using Olive Oil Injections! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Penis Enlargement Using Olive Oil Injections!

There's a guy in Thailand that no longer has a penis.

Many of you, mostly wimmin, are right now screaming "Yes!" and doing some form of the Watusi in celebration. The other part of this group of howling Dumbasses are a bunch of spurned homos out in Cal-ee-forn-ya. On the other hand, every single non-homo guy reading this is at this very moment grabbing his crotch and holding it like a Mother cuddles with a newborn baby.

Now, there must be several questions running through your mind right now, the biggest of which is WTF?

Let me splain.

Extra Virgin

In Thailand it is evidently a common practice for men who want to enlarge their man parts to inject it with olive oil! And here you thought all EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) was good for was to sautee mushrooms and shit. Now you know that it is also a well-known agent for ding a ling biggening. It is also the source of many a pee pee problem in Thailand.

Let me splain that, too.

From what I gather from reading this article, shootin' up your thang with EVOO not only doesn't increase its size (go figger), this practice also is the source of some very serious penile infections. As far as I can tell, Thai men seeking to attain porn star-sized schlongs actually go to backstreet clinics to get this shit done. Another take away from the piece in the DailyMail is that bee's wax, silicone and even paraffin are sometimes used in this procedure. Oh, boy! Where does the line form?!

Adios Mr. Happy

The guy to whom I referred in the first line of this story was administered the old olive oil in the weenie injection by some back alley hack, developed a very bad infection in his doo hickey and was taken to a local hospital for treatment. Sadly, when the doctors were trying to fix this Dumbass up, they discovered cancer and had to remove his manhood, gazebos and all.

The attending physician was quick to point out, however, that the EVOO injection was not the cause of the cancer, but that this is still a very dangerous thing to do. No shit, Sherlock. You went to all those years of medical school to tell us that?

One more thing about this story that is the irony of ironies. And I ain't making this took place in Bangkok.

Go figger.


***Hat tip to @Polliwogette on Twitter***
***Photo courtesy of the Daily Mail***


  1. I'm sure if he applied the olive oil externally it would have increased dramatically. After numerous applications he would have discovered the recipe for ranch dressing.


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