Kev donated a not insignificant amount of time and effort in doing me a solid by coming up with the perfect "trophy" for the winners of the various categories of the Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Awards.
So, without further ado, I present to you a True Dumbass Work of Art by Kevin in Wis-caaahhhn-sin....
Ladies and Gentlemen....The Dummy...
And now....the Continuation of The 2013 Dummies....
Over the last almost three and a half years, Dumbass News has shared with The World some of the Finest Dumbass Criminals in the History of Mankind.
And by "finest" I naturally mean "Most Ignant Sumbitches to Ever Take a Breath".
As a result of this overabundance of Stoopid Fuckers, 2013 has proved to be the Best Year Yet in the Annals of the Most Ignant Sumbitches to Ever Take a Breath.
Nominees for the MISTETAB Dumbass News Felon of the Year Award
- Lady Tries to Murder Her Husband by Poisoning Her Vajayjay! - Gettin' dead by gettin'some. Whatever happened to Good Old Fashion Homicide By 12 Gauge?
- Dumbass Uses Baseball Bat to Rob Gun Store! - 32 Ounce Louisville Slugger versus .45 Caliber Smith & Wesson. Guess which one wins.
- Family Burglarizes Church, Sells Stolen Loot at Yard Sale! - The Almighty ain't happy about this. Horny prison inmates, on the other hand, are ecstatic.
- Look! Mom's On TV & She's Robbing a Bank! - Penalty for early withdrawal, Member F.D.I.C. (and the "D" stands for Dumbass)
But after much deliberation (and a rousing session of Eeny Meeny Miney Moe), the winner of the Most Ignant Sumbitch to Ever Take a Breath Dumbass News Felon of the Year Award is...
Poison Pussy Lady!!!
Any woman that would willingly put a toxic substance in her nether regions for the express purpose of killing another human bean is definitely one of the Most Ignant Sumbitches to Ever Take a Breath!
Look for Poison Pussy Lady's first feature film, Escape From Caged Heat: The Concealed Chisel in My Cooch, coming soon to a Drive In Movie in a trailer park near you!