Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Now With 151,341 Dumbasses! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Now With 151,341 Dumbasses!

Fearless Leader
Dumbass News reached another milestone late Saturday night. We went over 150,000 (one hundred fifty thousand!) total page views! It took us almost exactly two and a half years to do so, and it's been worth every damn word of it.

I can not tell you how humbling it is to have achieved this feat. As I type this, Dumbass News has been viewed 151,341 times by close to 100,000 unique visitors. Looking back, it's a bit overwhelming to think: 
  1. That the number of people almost equal to the population of Burbank, Cal-ee-forn-ya would actually take the time to read the stoopid shit that I write.
  2. That the number of people almost equal to the population of Burbank, Cal-ee-forn -ya are stoopid enough to read the stoopid shit that I write.
  3. That 151,341 Dumbasses can read at all.
  4. That the rate of growth of Dumbass News, over the last few months especially, has been so phenomenal.
  5. The rate of growth of this blog proves the words of P.T. Barnum to be true: "There's a Dumbass born every minute".
  6. That Dumbass News will forevermore be a part of dark, dingy basement reading curriculum as long as the Internet exists.
  7. That just two and a half short years ago I was ecstatic to check the blog's stats and see that we had gotten twenty page views on any given day.
  8. Yesterday alone we got over six hundred look sees. And that's not quite an average day.
To many of you, this may not seem like such a big deal. I guess in The Grand Scheme of Things it's not. But to me it is. Putting things in perspective, I have written almost 900 posts and over a million words for Dumbass News and it ain't always been easy. Knowing however that every day several hundred Dumbasses will put down their crayons and coloring books and willingly destroy countless brain cells reading my work makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with these people feel pretty damn good.

So here we are over 150,000 page views by Dumbasses in 156 countries around the world later, you and me, Dumbasses of Planet Earth hanging out together every day, Cheetos in hand, awaiting Mom's call to lunch so we can escape the darkness of our dungeons.

We are proud!

We are legion!

We are Dumbasses!

Thank you,
Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde

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