Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Americans Love Congress More Than Meth Labs & Cockroaches! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, April 19, 2013

Americans Love Congress More Than Meth Labs & Cockroaches!

The recent hullabaloo over gun control has put the United States Congress front and center in the news even more than normal over the last several weeks. This contentious debate has been a sobering reminder of just how much the American people love and respect our Elected Dumbasses. And by "love and respect" I of course mean "loathe and despise".

With that in mind, I thought it would be a good time to reprise this story from January of this year reaffirming our opinion of the men and women in whose hands we place the very destiny of our Representative Republic.

There's an old saying that goes something like this, "if 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', is 'Congress' the opposite of 'progress'?" The answer to that query is a resounding "hell yes!".

I am not the only one that feels this way.

Let me splain.

They Asked, You Replied

Public Policy Polling, a nationally recognized polling firm, recently asked 830 Americans from around the country a "series of either/or questions about Congress vs some very unpleasant alternatives".

For example, when pitted against the Kardashians, Congress comes out ahead. Our elected representatives, and I use the term "representatives" very loosely here, also edged out:
  1. North Korea
  2. Fidel Castro
  3. Lindsay Lohan
  4. The ebola virus
  5. Communism (although it's difficult to distinguish the current bunch in Washington, DC from your garden variety Commie; see numbers 1 & 2)
  6. Meth labs
  7. Gonorrhea
I'm sure the United States Congress is very happy that it out-polls perhaps the most oppressive gubmint in the world, one of the most despised mass murdering dictators in history, a deadly disease, an illegal narcotic, an actress with a well publicized drinking and drug problem and a venereal disease. I know that this puts a song in my heart. <----oozing with sarcasm.

The list above is the good news in this story.

The Bad News

Wanna hear some of the nasty shit that, according to this poll, Americans have a better opinion of when compared to your US Gubmint?
  1. Genghis Khan - At least he fought wars to win. Right, Mr. Preznit?
  2. Fwance - Proving we have become a nation of pussies....thanks Obama voters!
  3. Donald Trump - Can he fire 535 people all at once?
  4. Traffic jams - Nothing says I hate Congress more than sniffing automobile emissions on a sweltering summer day in Houston.
  5. Nickelback (the rock band) - So what? Like Congress, this band is long on BS, short on substance.
  6. Root canals - If only Novocaine could dull the pain of the House & Senate.
  7. Colonoscopies - at least you expect to take it up the ass with a colonoscopy.
  8. Cockroaches - Like the cucarachas in DC, they scatter when you turn on the light and they are impervious to insecticides.
There ya go, America. That's how the idjits who make the laws we live by stack up against such formidable competition as the ordinary cockroach, murderous despots and  having a medical device shoved up your anal cavity.

What a country!

God help us all.


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