Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: The Drunk Lady & The 9-1-1 Lonely Hearts Club : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Drunk Lady & The 9-1-1 Lonely Hearts Club

9-1-1 is to be used only in situations where an emergency situation exists or is immanent, like when a crime is committed or during a medical crisis.

Ninety-nine per cent of the people who utilize 9-1-1 are doing so within the parameters of its intended use.

The other 1% are Dumbasses.

For Example
  • Many 9-1-1 calls come from people who wish to do themselves harm. On the odd occasion a call like this is a fake. That's where the marijuana comes in.
  • Sometimes a Dumbass just needs a cold beer. That's when 9-1-1 comes in handy.
  • One Dumbass called 9-1-1 to order a cheeseburger! NINE times!
As I'm sure you have ascertained by now, these are all exceedingly good reasons to disrupt emergency police, fire and EMS calls. That is unless your are the police, fire department or ambulance service. Those guys tend to take a dimmer view of such shenanigans than does your run of the mill Dumbass.

In other words, the people who man those agencies have absolutely no sense of humor.

Today I came across a Dumbass who has a very good reason for abusing the 9-1-1 system.


Flori-duh Again picks up the story: "Fleurette French, 64, of Vero Beach, faces a charge of abuse of 911 after authorities responded to a a medical call on March 30.

"Ms. French called 911 for a medical issue as well as she had been drinking," the arrest affidavit said."Ms. French was in no obvious stress when EMS assessed her, she was highly intoxicated."

A firefighter/paramedic on the scene reported that she told him the real reason she called 911 was "because she was lonely," the report said.

She had also called 911 earlier that same day and four other times, authorities said.

"On each of the aforementioned dates and times, Ms. French was transported to Indian River County Medical Center as well as she was intoxicated on each instance," the affidavit said." 

I now have a picture in my mind of Drunk Lonely Little Old Ladies all across The Fruited Plain getting blasted, dialing 9-1-1 looking for engaging conversation with some poor schlub at the Emergency Call Center. 

All because they read this story.

Damn, now I'm hungry for a cheeseburger.

Hello, 9-1-1? I'd like to place an order to be delivered...



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