Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Fat Guy Sues White Castle Because Their Booths Are Too Small! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Fat Guy Sues White Castle Because Their Booths Are Too Small!

This is one of those stories that will invoke rage amongst some of my readers. That is not the intent of the story, but some of you will take it the wrong way. Tough shit, I say!

Let me splain.

There's a fat guy in Nanuet, New York that does fat people everywhere a disservice by being a complete and utter Dumbass. Said fat guy weighs 290 pounds and he's all pissed of at a local White Castle burger joint. You see where this is going? Anyway, Fat guy is suing the White Castle because, wait. for. it., the seats in the place are too small and fail to meet standards set forth in the Americans With Disabilities Act! Fat Guy first complained about the too small seats a couple of years ago and the company responded by promising to install bigger seats and sending him some coupons for, get this, three free White Castle burgers! Lemme get this straight. A fat guy is suing you because the booths in your restaurant are too small and you send him coupons for free burgers? Earth to White Castle...

Where to begin? Let's start with the ADA. It's a steaming pile of gubmint intervention into business. But that's a discussion for another time. Fat Guy is suing White Castle because of the small seats in their establishment. I wonder if Fat Guy ever thought that maybe he's a tub of lard because he eats too often at White Castle??!! And McDonalds. And Fat Burgers. Eat some fucking yogurt, Dumbass! Fast food, when consumed by the 55 gallon drum full, will make you look like a hot air balloon. And you have the balls to sue White Castle because the seats are too small? Maybe they should sue you for crushing their seats like a rotten tomato by slapping your fat ass down on them. Oh wait! I almost forgot, Fat Guy says that he wants bigger seats so he  can "sit down like a normal person". Then quit eating White Castle burgers like they are siphoned through a beer bong. Good Gawd, man! You don't need bigger seats, you need to lose two of your asses, dipshit. Try Subway for cryin' out loud. It worked for Jared.

Until then, shut the fuck up.

And have another cheeseburger.



  1. I actually don't find this funny. I am a big person, and I hate going to places that have booths, unless they have chairs and tables, too. I will sit at a table, so that I am comfortable, and I fit.

    Not everyone is less than 225 pounds, you know.

    1. Because the guy is heavy is not the point of the story. I don't care if he's the size of a Mack Truck. The point of the story is that he's a big guy complaining about the size of the booths and he STILL shovels down a mess of cheeseburgers. Is that not stupid as shit?

    2. Hi Lorraine, I don't think he was bashing fat people, this one particular person decided to sue an establishment simply because the seats were too small. If that were the case fat asses should unite and sue airlines for the same reason and some airlines make you pay for two seats! That to me is embarrassing alone! I will say as a fellow fat ass,why didnt the dude take the meal to go? Either way Lorraine I wish you well. Fat asses unite!

    3. BTW, Folks. SimplyHeather is my wife. She is a Plus Sized Woman. I ran this story by her before I published it. She had no problem with it, so here it is....

  2. I'm a little overweight. I'm genetically predispositioned that way to an extent. I also don't eat as healthy as I should and don't exercise as much as I should either. There are things I could do to make myself skinnier.

    That being said, if I can't fit into a fucking booth at a restaurant that serves food that contributes to my obesity I'm sure as shit not going to sue them. Hypocrite much?

    1. You hit the nail on the head! This is not a knock on heavy people, it's the (as you pointed out) the hypocrisy of the whole damn thing.


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