Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Wanna Marry an American & Become a Citizen? Don't Commit a Felony! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, May 20, 2013

Wanna Marry an American & Become a Citizen? Don't Commit a Felony!

I am an America and damned proud to be one. I love this country more than everything but God and Family. Evidently there are millions of others around the world who love the good ole USA also. While hundreds of thousands go through the immigration system to become American citizens, others try, and many succeed, in entering the country illegally. Then are the lucky foreign nationals who are already here and trying like hell to stay here. These people realize that we've got it pretty good.

Sometimes immigrants use nefarious ways to gain American Citizenship. Like marriages of convenience - marrying an American citizen in order to not be deported.

Did somebody out there say "Dumbass"?
Lookin' for Love

Well, it just so happens......

Wanting a New VISA (and I Don't Mean Credit Card)

Nikoleta Karoly is a foreigner with a just-about-to-expire-VISA. She desperately wants to stay in the United States. She is so adamant about staying here that she was willing to marry her boyfriend so she would not be sent back to her country of origin, which no doubt is some Communist Hellhole. Like Massivetwoshits.

There was, however, one teensy weensy hitch in Niki's plan to marry her beau and remain in the US. The groom-to-be did not want to be a groom. No matter how you view this situation, this minute detail throws a monkey wrench into Niki's plan. Another small detail not to be overlooked is the fact that Nikoleta is now a felon.

Well, somebody sure pissed in her Cheerios, didn't they?

Wedding Bell Blues

Upon being told that The Guy did not want to marry her, thereby blowing her immediate chances of not being deported, Niki became a bit upset. And by a "bit upset", I mean she beat the shit out of her boyfriend. Yep, nothing says "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you American pig" like a good ole country ass kickin'.

According to the American Pig Boyfriend, this was not the first time that Niki was violent towards him because he was hesitant to marry her. I, for one, am all about a serious "come to Jesus" meeting when it's necessary to the plot, but this is not the method best-suited for encouraging one's lover into the Holy bond of matrimony.

But, then again, I am a Dumbass. What do I know?

What I Know

I know that:
  • Nikoleta Karoly is now in the Collier County (FLA) Jail.
  • Nikoleta Karoly may well spend some time in a nice comfy Florida State Prison.
  • Nikoleta Karoly will not become an American citizen.
  • Nikoleta Karoly's boyfriend is a pussy for letting a woman beat his ass.
And.....
  • Nikoleta Karoly will not be getting married to an American Pig any time soon. Unless it's to a fellow inmate at an FLA Women's Correctional Facility whose nickname is "Spike" who is also in The Slammer for beating the shit out of her boyfriend.
Dumbass.

2 comments:

  1. Color me pussy please. I've had my darling spouse hit me twice in the presence of my son (Autistic wife + Autistic son = chance of explosive / me the "negotiator"). I was raised to not hit a girl. There's really no way to win, even if you "win". In my mind, I decked her but my feet just turned and walked out of the room. Maybe I should hook the wife up with Nicky, they sound like they might be good together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Man, LJ, sounds like you've got your hands full. You're a better man for doing the right thing. Nicky and your wife? 2 out of 3 falls at Madison Square Garden? :) Thanks for the comment, Bro.

      Delete

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