Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: D_MB_SS: I'd Like to Buy a Vowel, Pat : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, June 21, 2013

D_MB_SS: I'd Like to Buy a Vowel, Pat

On TV game shows, things don't always go as planned. You put people in an atmosphere where they could win a shitload of money and/or prizes, and things could, unintentionally, turn ugly real quick.

I remember watching Wheel of Fortune (I think) long ago and the puzzle looked like this "N*GGER". That is a recipe for disaster. At first glance, it looks very much like a racial epithet waiting to happen. But the correct answer was "NAGGER". Still, what a dumbass thing to even let the appearance of something so vile be a part of the game.

Such an incident, while very rare, is not limited to American TV. There are plenty of Dumbasses in other countries too. In England, the standards for TV are quite different than those of the USA. They are a little more "liberal" across the pond. For instance, I have seen episodes of some Chef Ramsey show of one kind or another where the word "shit" is not bleeped out. On other shows on whatever over the air dumbass UK channel you'll see women with their "assets" exposed for all to see.

Which brings us to our story for the day.

In Jolly Old England, on Channel 4, they air a show called "Countdown", which I gather is a lot like Wheel of Fortune. But the British are very lucky because this show, Countdown, has neither hide nor hair of Keith Olberdouche associated with it. However, Countdown is not immune from its own Dumbass Moments.

Not long ago, the show had a puzzle with the following letters in it: "DTCEIASHF". Take a  minute to look it over and try to figure out what could possibly go wrong. I am gonna go check the mail, and I expect an answer from you when I get back. Your time starts now.

OK, I'm back. If you guessed "SHITFACED", you have solved the word puzzle the exact same way the contestant on the show did. While this a perfectly legitimate answer, the Dumbass producers of this show made a decision to re-tape the show (!) because of this answer, relegating this segment to the cutting room floor and thus keeping the show's "squeaky clean" reputation in tact.

What the fuck? You Dumbasses were the ones to allow this word puzzle on to your show, and then some poor schlub gives a perfectly good answer and you shitcan it? For the sake of preserving your reputation? It's not like you Dumbasses have any "standards" or anything. You dickweeds canceled Benny Hill for God's sake. Well, maybe not Channel 4, but the same assholes that run British TV canceled Benny Hill. And these idiots all of the sudden have scruples? Pardon me while I heave.

Solve this puzzle you British TV censor bitches. CUFK OYU MUDBESSSA.

I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat.

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