Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: The Luggage Handler in the Jet's Cargo Hold Game! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, June 9, 2013

The Luggage Handler in the Jet's Cargo Hold Game!

Oh, boy, do we have a good Dumbass story today! And it's another Dumbass on the plane story!

A couple of years ago we posted this story on a pilot who fell asleep at the controls of a passenger jet. What you are about to read isn't quite that stoopid, but, still, it's pretty damn stoopid.

Let me splain.

In the Bag

If you've ever been to an airport you've seen the guys who put your luggage in the cargo hold of a jet. They have their little cart with all the suitcases on it and they (the baggage handlers) are charged with taking the luggage of the cart and putting it onto the waiting plane. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong you are turbulance breath!

At one of the airports in Washington, D.C., the Luggage Guys put all the suitcases on the plane. They also loaded something else onto the plane. By "something else" I of course mean a baggage handler"!

What could possibly go wrong?

This little incident begs the question, "How the hell can you put a guy in the cargo hold of a jet liner and not notice that something was amiss? I don't know either, but the Dumbasses at the Washington, D.C. airport evidently have it down to a science. Another question. Why in the name of all that is Holy was the guy so far inside the cargo hold that nobody could see him? Was the Dumbass smoking a joint in there? Was he getting ready to take a nap? Or is he just a Dumbass? I think you know my answer to that question.

Anyway, passengers on the jet heard some sounds coming from beneath the floor of the passenger compartment of the plane and wisely alerted a stewardess, who then notified the Captain who then notified the ground crew that there was a Dumbass in the cargo hold of the jet! Another small detail to this story is that the Dumbass in the cargo hold is the guy who was supposed to drive the tractor-looking thing that pushes the jet into a position on the tarmac so it can taxi onto the runway and  take off to its destination! Thanks to the alert passengers, the Dumbass Tractor-looking Thing Driver and Luggage Handler was freed from the cargo hold unharmed and he went on to push the plane from the gate and send it on its merry way.

After almost a full two minutes of thinking, I have determined that this event could be made into a little game that luggage handlers in airports all across the country could play with their Fellow Luggage Handling Dumbasses. The object of the game would be to lock a luggage guy in the cargo hold of the plane then guess where he will end up when the plane reaches its destination! Of course, everybody would have to place a little money in a pot to be held in a secure place until the Dumbass in the cargo hold calls and says, "Thanks, guys! I ended up in Honolulu! And fuck you all I ain't coming back!" The Fellow Luggage Handling Dumbass who guessed closest to the actual place the stowaway landed would win the pot! Doesn't that sound like fun? Don't be surprised when this game of "Hide the Dumbass in the Cargo Hold and Guess Where He'll End Up" is a smash hit with luggage guys in airports nationwide!

Dumbasses.

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