Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Toasted: Teen Assaulted by Sister Over Piece of Bread! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, June 14, 2013

Toasted: Teen Assaulted by Sister Over Piece of Bread!

Over the past almost 3 years, I have written about some real Dumbass Stuff on these very pages. And when I say "Dumbass", I mean people with the I.Q. of a spitwad.

These spitwads include the guy who was stranded on an island for five days just offshore in California before even trying to use his cell phone! This has been one of the most popular posts since I started the blog. This fact leads me to believe that many of you have been through a similar experience only you didn't use you cell phone to call for help, you sent smoke signals.....from a joint. Sheesh.

Then there was the one about the guy who was "short-changed" by a hooker, so he sued her! What of value will he get from a hooker? Stilletos? STDs? What the hell ever, let's move on.

Our little adventure into Dumbass Land today takes us again to the Sunshine State of Florida, where a Stoopid Broad goes ape shit over toast.

Yes, toast.

Gettin' Toasted

Maria Acevedo, our Dumbass of the Day, came home one afternoon to find her sixteen year old sister using her (Maria's) bread to GASP! make toast! I swear, young people today, what won't they do?

Maria took exception to this event and scolded her younger sibling with great vigor and excitement. And by "scolding with great vigor and excitement" I mean Maria beat the dawg shit out of her sister. See? Maria was very excited.

Here' where the "great vigor" part comes into play. Maria vigorously pounded the sister with a six inch metal frying pan about the head and shoulders and the upper extremities of her body. And as if that wasn't vigorous enough, Maria also pulled her sister's hair and smashed her skull against the floor. And all this "vigor" took place after the sister apologized!

Arrest and incarceration ensued.

What I Think 

Maria, Maria, Maria. Just what are we gonna do with you, young lady? There are several issues concerning this incident that I'd like to address.

1) It's not a very smart thing to do to beat the snot out of a minor, especially when you are of the majority age. Can you say "felony"?

2) My "assaulting a minor" advice to Maria is: NEVER and I mean NEVER use a frying pan to try and crack open a young person's skull. This, too, is known as a felony. And maybe attempted murder.

3) One last thing, Maria...sell some of that crack you've been smoking and soon you'll have enough cash flow to buy a whole damn bread truck.

You're welcome.

Dumbass.

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