Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Cops: Knock, Knock! Pot Dealer: "Come In!" UPDATE: Cop Eats Pot Brownies, Calls 911! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Cops: Knock, Knock! Pot Dealer: "Come In!" UPDATE: Cop Eats Pot Brownies, Calls 911!



Latin lettuce.

Meskin Marlboros.

I have written a shitload of stories about The Herb Superb, including today's Best of Dumbass News.

The Dumbass In Key Largo

The Monroe County Sheriff's Department got a call from a local resident about a possible suicide at a certain location. This is something that the law enforcement community takes very seriously. If somebody is disturbed enough to want to kill themselves, they may also be disturbed enough to kill others as well.

So the cops go to investigate.

Upon arrival at the scene of a potentially deadly situation, the police didn't find a suicidal Dumbass, but a guy who probably wishes he was dead.

Splaination to follow.

Always Ask "Who's There?"

The Fuzz approaches the house, knocks on the door and someone from inside yells, "Come in!".

The cop goes inside the place. There's no one at the residence threatening Hari Kari, just some poor schlub cutting up a pot plant. One of 124 pot plants at the house! Surprise, Dumbass! It is my understanding that Key Largo is a pretty laid back place and the consumption of the Herb Superb is not that big a deal. I think, though, that having over a hundred pot plants growing inside your home is a big deal. Like do a long stretch at the Florida Institution for the Criminally Dumbass Big Deal. This is also not the Dumbass' first run-in with the Law. He has previous convictions including check fraud, assault and battery and some drug charges (no kiddin'!) too.

The fact that the Dumbass, Joseph Ebeling of Key Largo, will be unavailable for a stretch of 5 to 10 compels me to make the following Public Service Announcement:

If you buy your pot from Joseph Ebeling of Key Largo, Florida, he will not be out of the loop for a few years, therefore you need to find another Dope Guy for all your marijuana needs. This concludes this PSA from the Dumbass News Network.

Jose, your all expense paid vacation awaits you. I wouldn't, however, count on conducting a continuing criminal enterprise (at least selling weed) in or around Key Largo when and if you get cut loose from the Big House. Somebody has already taken your place.


UPDATE w/ Stoned Cop 911 Call (not part of this story, but funny as hell)

***Hat Tip for the Video to @Bumr50 on Twitter***


  1. I think I will thank you on behalf of this dumbass for posting the public service announcement. Thanks! ...for making me laugh!

    1. Thanks, Lorraine! There's obviously a "Knock, Knock" joke in there somewhere, but I am too stoopid to find it. :)

  2. I smell a future segment on COPS coming up! Oh, Florida, the laughs just keep on coming!

    1. COPS? I'll be rich! Phil, type in "Florida" in the search box on the upper right. I could write a book on Florida Dumbasses alone!


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