Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Driving Nekkid w/ Nekkid Duct Taped Girl in Back Seat! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Driving Nekkid w/ Nekkid Duct Taped Girl in Back Seat!

When it comes to Dumbassery, few places on the entire planet are weirder than Portland, Oregon. My guess is that other than San Francisco, Portland prolly has the highest Dumbass to "normal" people ratio in the country. I think the reason for this is the fact that so many weenies and various other life forms migrate from Cal-ee-forn-ya to the Pacific Northwest trying to - wait for it - escape the Dumbssery in Cal-ee-forn-ya!

Headdesk

Go frakkin' figger.

True Dumbass Love


Nothing says True Dumbass Love like duct taping your girlfriend like a Taliban hostage and putting her in the back seat of your Subaru for a little joy ride around town - while you, too, are nekkid as a jay bird as you escort your hostage sweetie all through Portland. Not that a duct taped nekkid woman in the back seat of a Subaru would garner much attention in Portland, Oregon, but one sane soul noticed the nekkid, taped up bimbo and called the cops.

One can only imagine what the heat thought when they encountered a nekkid guy driving a Subaru with a duct taped nekkid lady in the back seat! I'm fairly confident that the local constabulary had some very powerful handguns pointed directly at Mr. Driving Nekkid Guy at the sight of such a situation.

After taking a large shit on the genuine imitation llama hair seat cover, and losing his boner, Mr. Driving Nekkid Guy and Ms. Custom Duct Tape Job by Jim Bob Jumpback explained that they were just out for a nekkid ride just for a little for fun.

And sexual thrills.

Yup, instead of a nice candlelight dinner with some cheap wine, these two Dumbasses get nekkid, duct taped and stoopid. And cited for disorderly conduct for driving around Portland for all to see.

This just oooooozzzzzeeesssss romance.

Reactions


When people learned of this little Love Boat on Land episode, most of the reactions were of the "So what, they were just having fun?" variety. One local Dumbass posted on the Portland Police Department Facebook page, and I quote, "Nothing wrong with that, they were just trying to have some fun, you monsters."

I ain't kiddin'.

The best comment came from a guy who summed it up very nicely: "Keep Portland weird, man."

Perfect.

I implore you to heed this advice as you travel through this journey we call life: nekkid, duct taped and driving through a major city is no way to go through life, son.

Dumbasses.

6 comments:

  1. God bless duct tape! It has so many uses!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We Rednecks have known this for generations!

      Delete
  2. Hey! Thanks for following my blog! Not sure why, but I have a real problem leaving comments on Blogger sites. I think it may be our dumbass Indo firewall or something....
    I hope it doesn't play up today.

    As Phil says above 'God bless duct tape!' - great post! Lottie :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome, Lottie! I want to thank you for all the mentions and RTs!

      I am glad you made it through to leave a comment.

      Is Duct Tape available in Indo? :)

      Delete
  3. Aww sweet love, am sure taking those duct tapes out gave them sweet love pains too
    what is wrong with people can't two love birds enjoy a lil hostage situation love ride
    or is kinky love just for rich..we should support those two

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I support Kinky Duct Tape Love!

      Down with Big Duct Tape!

      New Kinky Duct Tape Love Support Group: Dumbasses for Duct Tape!

      Delete

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