Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Russian Dumbass Swallows Heroin; Doctor Surgically Removes It, Then Steals Some! Russian Cops Not Amused : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Russian Dumbass Swallows Heroin; Doctor Surgically Removes It, Then Steals Some! Russian Cops Not Amused

Drugs.

There's a huge demand for them.

Where there is a big-time demand for something, legal or illegal, there's gonna be somebody to supply it.

That's simply the way market economies, even the Black Market Economy, operate.

Hundreds of billions of dollars worth of narcotics are bought and sold every day. When there's that much money involved and an interruption in the methods of distribution of drugs happens, dealers must find new ways to deliver the goods.

We Deliver

Here are a few of the more unique methods of drug smuggling that we have covered here at Dumbass News:
  • One way to have drugs delivered to your home is through the United States Postal Service. While this very convenient, it is a very bad idea. 
  • A couple of mules (drug runners) were doing a solid for one their boyfriends by smuggling cocaine in their hair weaves! 
  • Breast implants not only enhance women's chests, but they make dandy places to conceal contraband.
  • My favorite method of getting narcotics from Point A to Point B (so far) comes from the Dumbass that shoved cocaine up the asses of roasted chickens and shipped them overseas!
Down the Hatch 
Almost Communist Again Russian Flag

Over in Almost Communist Again Russia, some Ruskie Dumbass was busted for possession of heroin. The cops were unable to confiscate the smack from the guy even though it was on his person. Or should I say IN his person. As in his stomach. This can make relieving a suspect of his contraband somewhat problematic.

So the Russian Police called in a surgeon to remove the dope from the Dumbass' belly.

So the Sawbones did and turned over the evidence to the Fuzz.

Almost all of it.

The cops noticed that some of the Horse was missing. 

The doctor stole  a small amount of the drug when he removed it from the Bad Guy's gut.

This was a very bad decision on the Good Doctor's part.

He will now spend a good portion of his remaining days on Earth in a nice Russian Gulag.

Dumbass.


2 comments:

  1. Jeez - couldn't he have just drank a lot of vodka to get a buzz? Dumbass!

    ReplyDelete

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