Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: "Unclaimed Fund in West Africa Region" Makes Me a Filthy Rich Man! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, August 18, 2013

"Unclaimed Fund in West Africa Region" Makes Me a Filthy Rich Man!

Best of Dumbass News

Well, whaddaya know! I am "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region"!

And all this time I thought I'd be a poor fucker for the rest of my life.
West Africa Region

But that's all changed now because I am "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region"! Praise Gawd and pass the Cashier's Check!

You may not believe this, but I am also having a bit of skepticism about "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region."

My "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region" must be true though, I got it in an official email from the "Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division" of the FBI!

See for yourself, Doubting Thomas:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION

FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON DC

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS J.EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING

935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

Ref: FBI/DC/25/113/13/2013

https://www.fbi.gov

Urgent attention needed

We found out through our global intelligence monitoring network that you are
having an unclaimed fund in the West African region.

Many person(s) have knew about this unclaimed fund that is yet to be paid to
you, so they use the medium in contacting you about the unclaimed fund just to
extort money from you.

We are using this medium to inform you now that your said fund is held by an
insurance company in the West African region, so do not respond to email(s)
you receive from this impostors claiming to be one organization or the other.

For confirmation if truly you have an unclaimed fund with the insurance
company in Western part of Africa, you are advise to contact the GOLD LINK
INSURANCE COMPANY with;
YOUR FULL NAME:
YOUR COUNTRY:
YOUR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER:

They will give you their website for you to check your name on the list of
beneficiaries that are yet to receive their unclaimed fund, If your name is on
the list then you can proceed with the next step on claiming your held fund
from them.

Below is the contact details of the GOLD LINK INSURANCE COMPANY.

You are to contact Mr. Tayo Oba of the Gold Link Insurance Company directly
with the information as given below.


GOLD LINK INSURANCE COMPANY
Mr. Tayo Oba
Email : goldlinkinsuranceplc@y7mail.com

NOTE: ONCE YOU CONTACT MR. TAYO OBA OF THE GOLD LINK INSURANCE COMPANY MAKE
SURE HE GIVES YOU THE LINK OF THEIR WEBSITE FOR YOU TO VERIFY YOUR NAME BEFORE
YOU PROCEED WITH THE CLAIMS PROCESS, IF YOUR NAME IS NOT IN THE LIST ON THEIR
WEBSITE PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED WITH CLAIMS FOR YOU TO BE AT THE SAFER SIDE.

Yours Faithfully

FOR FBI DIRECTOR
MR. ROBERT S. MUELLER III.

cc: gold link insurance plc (glip)
cc: general intelligence department (GID)
cc federal bureau of investigation (FBI)
cc .internet crime complaint center (ic3)
cc: Counterterrorism Division (CTD)
cc: international monetary fund (IMF)
cc: Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS)
cc: international banking security association (IBSA)
cc: FBI Police (FBIP)
cc: Counterterrorism Division (CTD)
cc: national white collar crime center (NW3C)
cc: bureau of justice assistance (BJA)
cc: economic and financial crimes commission (EFCC)

I mean, hell, just look at all those "cc:" notations! There's even one to the "National White Collar Crime Center"! And I gotta tell you, there is nobody and I mean NOBODY more against National White Collar Crime than your Beloved Fearless Leader!

Still doubt the authenticity of my "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region"? There's also a "cc:" notation to the "General Intelligence Department"! I'm generally an intelligent guy so how about that, Mr. NonBelieverMcSmartyPants?

I am further convinced that this shit is real because of all those official-looking acronyms. No Bad Guy in the whole wide world would ever use phony acronyms when notifying some poor schlub like me about "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region". NW3C, glip, ic3...if that ain't real I'll kiss your ass in the middle of Downtown Dallas and give you an hour to draw a crowd. I. Am. That. Sure.

There's no way in hell that my "having an unclaimed fund in the West African region" is fake like the Nigerian FBI's promise to put five million dollars on an ATM card for me. Granted, Nigeria is in western Africa, but my "having an unclaimed fund in the West Africa region" is probably in an honest western Africa country like Sierra Leone or Senegal.

Why, this email even states that there are some really naughty people who would try to rip me off using a scam similar to this legitimate transaction.  "Many person(s) have knew about this unclaimed fund that is yet to be paid to you, so they use the medium in contacting you about the unclaimed fund just to extort money from you." See? Many person(s) have knew that there are unscrupulous cads in "the West Africa region" who would try to pull a fast one on me. But not the Gold Link Insurance Company! Gold Link even warned me about the possibility of fraud: "do not respond to email(s) you receive from this impostors claiming to be one organization or the other."

I'll be passing along all the pertinent personal information to you ASAP! I'll also click the link and verify that I am indeed entitled to the benefits of "having an unclaimed fund in the West Africa region". Following the prescribed protocol I can rest assured that, as you so eloquently put it, I'll "be at the safe side."

Yesiree, Bob, I am gonna be filthy fucking rich!

Thanks, Tayo Oba!

Dumbass.

4 comments:

  1. Hate to tell you this, but I checked. I'm on the list. You're not. I've already spent my "unclaimed fund in the West Africa region".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holy shit! My "Unclaimed Fund in the West Africa Region" has been claimed! I am poor again!

      Delete
  2. I have received so many of these notices that I must be the richest man in the world! If only I would give them my bank info, dumbasses!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't tell you the countless millions I have deleted! LMAO

      Delete

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