Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Lady Gets Parking Ticket; Attacks Cop w/ Cup of Doo Doo! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Lady Gets Parking Ticket; Attacks Cop w/ Cup of Doo Doo!

"Let's throw this against the wall and see if it sticks."

Usually that saying refers to an idea.

Or spaghetti. (to see if it's done)

What if the proverbial idea and/or spaghetti were doo doo?

Funny you should ask.

Ticket to Ride

A Nice Lady down in New Jersey was out on the town, which in Joisey could mean "tooling around for nightly drive-by shootings", when she parked her car in the wrong place.

Upon completing her nightly drive bys her errands, she returned to her car to find a parking ticket. This did not sit well with the Nice Lady.

It was at this point that the situation went to shit. 


HuffPo fills us in: According to the Jersey Journal, the officer was leaving work at the Hoboken Parking Utility offices at City Hall on Sept. 11 when she was accosted by the angry woman. After the officer told the woman she was going to get her supervisor, she says the woman threw a substance in her face, which was later confirmed to be feces. The species of origin is unclear.
"The attacker told cops she had gotten upset about a parking ticket because she thought she was being targeted because she is Latina," the newspaper reported.
The 39-year-old woman initially denied she had thrown the poop at the officer, but later allegedly admitted it, telling police that she'd scooped the poop off the ground with a paper cup. She was issued a summons for disorderly conduct.

I am quite concerned about this sort of behavior.

My Concerns

  • Police Officers have a tough enough job to do without people throwing shit at them.
  • Even if they do raid the wrong house from time to time.
  • What the hell kind of Dumbass would actually track down a cop to exact some sort of revenge over a fucking parking ticket?
  • A Dumbass with the reasoning skills of a wad of chewed-up-and-spit-out bubble gum.
  • Disorderly conduct?
  • Are you shittin' me?
  • How about "assault with a chemical weapon"?
  • This is doo doo of Unknown Origins.
  • How can we determine what species the offending poop came from?
  • Get DNA samples from all the hookers working the area in and around Hoboken.
  • After all, the Shit Bomb was scooped up off the ground.
  • Hookers in Hoboken are famous for "pinchin' a loaf"  whenever and where ever the urge hits.
  • Look for suspicious dogs also.
  • Even though it's hard to differentiate them from the hookers.
  • Do the Police in Hoboken racially profile all Female Dumbasses?
  • Or just Latina Dumbasses?
  • Or only brown hookers.
  • Or brown dogs?
  • I don't know.
  • I also don't care.


  1. Call the Cake Boss, he's from Hoboken! Matter of fact, he can make cakes that LOOK like poop. Maybe she didn't really throw poop at the cop, maybe she just threw a poop-shaped cake at him!!

  2. This is actually something we all want to do to the asshole ticket cops here in NYC!

    1. It's only a disorderly conduct away!

      NOTE: Dear NYPD...this is a JOKE!
      Fearless Leader


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