Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Lottery Winners Buy Drugs w/ Winnings; Spark Up Meth & Blow Up House! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Lottery Winners Buy Drugs w/ Winnings; Spark Up Meth & Blow Up House!

I sometimes think (dream?) of what I might do if I suddenly came into a large sum of money.

I'd like believe that I'd do some practical stuff before I went on a Dumbass Spending Spree. You know, like buy a house and some land and perhaps a new car or two. Since I am an Old Guy with two small children (girls 10 & 6), I would also open up a savings account for each of them to use towards a college education.

Then I'd go balls to the wall ape shit wasting money on cool shit. Like a new bass boat. Fish. Fear. Me.

And travel. I'd love to tour Mexico and Central America. I speak pretty fluent Spanish so this idea is certainly not far-fetched. Also, since I live only a few hours from Canada, I'd set off on a summer long tour of the second largest country in the world and her ten provinces and three territories.

The same can not be said for a pair of brothers (siblings, not black guys) in Kansas.


Hitting the Jackpot

There are a couple of Dumbasses in Kansas who are brothers. Actually, there are thousands of Dumbasses
in Kansas, many of them brothers, but I just want to focus on the two idiots relevant to today's story. Anyway, the Brothers recently won a large jackpot in the Kansas Lottery.

Seventy-five large to be exact.

I can only assume that The Brothers did not have families. I say that because of what they did with their sudden windfall. Did they sock away some of their winnings for a rainy day? No. Did they make plans to travel the country? Nope. How about buy a new car or boat? No this time. "Well, Fearless Leader", you ask, what gives?"

Party Time!

The Brothers did what millions of young, red-blooded American guys would do with seventy-five thousand dollars and a lot of time on their hands.

They rushed out and bought some meth and some pot! 

This is what many young people in Kansas do when presented at a moment's notice with a copious amount of cash. Especially in Manhattan and Lawrence. I can kind of understand why young folks would do shit like this. Have you ever been to Kansas? (I think I just blew any chance I had at being invited to a University of Kansas basketball game or a K-State football game all to hell by writing the previous few sentences. Rawk Tawk Jayhawk)

BOOM!

Guess what else our newly rich Duo of Dumbasses did upon hitting the jackpot? They blew up their house!

One of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to light their bongs. He emptied a couple of large cans of butane lighter fluid, leaking butane into the air.
"The butane vapor reached the pilot light in the furnace, and as you might expect, ka-boom,” Wichita Police Sgt. Bruce Watts said at a press conference.
KFDL reports that the injured brother's girlfriend drove him to the hospital and then "sped off and has not been found."

I hope we can all learn a lesson from this story.

The lesson is: the next time you want to spark up your bong, use matches, not butane! If you do you use butane, do not do so near an open flame.

Dumbasses.

***Thanks to the HuffPo***

6 comments:

  1. Oh, it's the Darwin Theory in effect! Survival of the dumbest! NOT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think these guys are too stoopid to even be considered Dumbasses.

      Delete
  2. Holy SHIT! What a couple of plonkers!! You have to wonder why peeps such as these ever got blessed with winning so much money eh?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blessed with Lotto Luck.

      Brains...not so much. :)

      Delete
  3. Who uses butane anyway? Amateurs. Everyone knows Zippo is the only way to fly.
    Question: Was their house worth more or less than whatever they had left of the 75K?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bingo on Zippo!

      The house was in Kansas. It was worth $4.98. New.

      Delete

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