Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Drunken Dumbass Demolition Derby in the Graveyard! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Drunken Dumbass Demolition Derby in the Graveyard!

Two women, a Mother and her daughter, from Winthrop, Maine met up a few days ago at a cemetery.

Why did they meet up at a Bone Yard? I ain't exactly sure, but I will go on he assumption that they were there to pay respects to a dearly departed friend or family member.

They were also there to initiate a demolition derby.

In the cemetery! 

Here's What Went Down 

So here these two Dumbasses are at the graveyard when an argument ensued.

Each of them then proceeded to get into their respective automobiles.

It was at this moment that the Dead Man's Demolition Derby began.

Crash! Bang! Crunch! Boom! <-----Gratuitous 1960s Batman TV Show Graphics reference.

Head stones go tumbling all over the place! 

The Mother's son goes airborne!

Melissa K. Grant, 42, and her daughter Savannah N. Lowe, 20, both of Winthrop, reportedly got into a fight at the cemetery, located on Cemetery Road, about 6:30 p.m. Friday. They later were arrested and spent the weekend in the Kennebec County Correctional Facility, Mayer said.
“There were several stones broken, completely destroyed and several others knocked off their bases,” said Mike Cyr, who sits on the local cemetery board and has been the group’s treasurer since 1973.
The cemetery has headstones that date to the early 1800s, said Hugh LeMaster, president of the local cemetery board.
“They hit a large older stone with hand-cut lettering … and they hit some upright tablets,” said LeMaster, who also is vice president of the Maine Cemetery Association. “This damage happened in the older section of the cemetery.”
LeMaster said the officer who arrested the mother and daughter told him the incident involved the consumption of alcohol and he described the incident as “a drunken family melee.”
“I’ve never seen what I call a demolition derby in a cemetery,” the cemetery board president said. “Supposedly they were visiting a family plot. What about the pain they caused to everybody else? To the relatives of the families [with the broken or damaged headstones]? It just doesn’t make sense to me.”
Lowe told police that she rammed her mother’s vehicle because she was afraid she was too drunk to drive, Mayer said.
“The daughter rammed the mother’s vehicle and the mother ran into the son. He was just standing there,” the officer said.
“She hit him from behind and catapulted him,” LeMaster said the arresting officer told him. “She apparently ran over her own son. Who runs over their own son?”
Winter is not too far off here in Maine and Cabin Fever will soon set in, so fun al fresco like a Dead Man's Drunken Demolition Derby in the cemetery is one way we rid ourselves of any remaining "Outdoors Fun Ideas" left over from the summer.
Alcohol is often involved.
***Image from Karen Cyr***


  1. I'm so completely appalled by this... where is the respect? where is the common sense? Why would you be that drunk in a cemetary? Why wouldn't you offer the other a ride if you thought they were too drunk to drive? ... How silly of me, trying to apply some logic to the situation. Logic and dumbasses don't mesh.

    1. These Dumbasses couldn't spell "logic" if you spotted them the "l-o" and the "g-i-c".

    2. Hey, on djmatticus' name in the comment above and take a look at his blog. The young man is a very good writer.

    3. Hey! Thanks for the shout out! :-)

  2. These dumbasses deserve to be put 6 feet under. Such a lack of respect.

    1. They probably even had the yard sale on a Sunday.

  3. Dumbass bitches. And that poor kid!!


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