Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass Classified Ads! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Dumbass Classified Ads!

Long Time, No See Dumbass Newspaper Classified Ads

A few years ago, I started a feature  on Dumbass News called Dumbass Newspaper Headlines. DNH was so popular that I decided to make them a regular part of the blog.

Last night I was considering writing a new post of Dumbass Newspaper Headlines, when all of the sudden I thought about a little blurb I saw in a small town Texas newspaper about twenty years ago. This long ago and faraway memory got me to thinking that newspapers have some pretty damn funny stuff in them besides the stoopid headlines. Of course, there's the occasional typo that completely alters the intended meaning of a sentence, but there is also another very important part of a newspaper that can provide an unintentional belly laugh - the classified ads!

With this in mind, I used my Fearless Leader Google Fu and came upon some damn funny classifieds floating around the ether.


So, Fellow Dumbasses, without further ado, I present to you the Very First Edition of Dumbass Newspaper Classified Ads!

Keep in mind that these are actual ads run in actual newspapers all across the country.

The Ads
Dammit! I was looking for a used tombstone that said"Smith".

Winter time can be awful lonely in Boise.

I want some of what this guy's smokin'.

Well that narrows down the search!

Throw in a young stripper and it's a deal.


Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.

Just in case you are ever chased by a dog in a foreign country. Or a foreign dog for that matter.

That's the Christmas Spirit!

This must be an ad for Bud's Medical Center.
And last but not least...

Wanna go shopping, Ladies?


***Special Thanks to & for the Ads!***


  1. Debbi DeChellis (Oregon Dumbass Society)December 16, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    O M G! Now that was worth waking up at 6:00 am! The best is of course the last one. This needs to be a monthly post! This is a MUST SHARE one. Have a DUMBASS FREE day! If that's possible ......

  2. Thanks, Debbi!

    I'll post this kind of stuff more often. If you come across any good ads like these, shoot them to me. I'll even give you a Hat Tip!

    I appreciate the you and the Oregon Dumbass Society a lot.

    Well....maybe not A LOT, but you get the idea....:)


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