Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass: "I'll Be Back to Rob This Place Later Today!" He Wasn't Kidding! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Dumbass: "I'll Be Back to Rob This Place Later Today!" He Wasn't Kidding!

Criminals, by Nature, (and definition) are Dumbasses.

But some crooks are more stoopid than others.

For example...

  • Robbing a Police Station is never a good idea. Robbing a Police Station in Texas takes stoopididity to an entirely different level. 
  • It is my Considered Fearless Leader Opinion that using a fake gun to commit a crime against another person is not, shall we say, very bright. No, we shall say it is fucking ignant. This is especially true when the intended victim is armed with a real gun with very real bullets.
  • I also believe that if you decide to break the law, the element of surprise should be at the forefront of your plan.
Which brings us to today's Dumbass Criminal Mastermind....
Jah Setzer


Jah Setzer was a familiar face around a convenience store in Gastonia, North Carolina.

Jah had made small talk with the cashier of the c-store on many occasions. In fact, he was a regular customer at the store and had visited with the Clerk On Duty on an almost-daily basis.

One such conversation included words to effect of, "I'll be back later today with a handgun and rob this place blind."

And that's exactly what happened.

After this particular exchange, Jah left, came back later armed to the teeth and started blasting away! The Clerk On Duty became scared shitless and ran like hell towards the back of the store seeking to escape Jah's rampage.

Jah then tried like hell to open the cash register drawer and make off with his ill-gotten gains.

He was unable to do so.

So he did the Next Best Thing...he stole a $3 beer that was sitting on the counter!

To my way of thinking, committing a felony while using a firearm and making off with nothing more than a $3 beer is like feeding the monkey to watch him shit.

This feeble attempt at armed robbery shows a clear lack of planning and preparation.

Jah should have anticipated in advance that he might not have been able to steal the money from the cash register and had some kind of backup itinerary.

Absent absconding with The Cheese (that means "money", Yoopers), he should have stolen at least a 12 pack of beer.

Or a couple of 40s of Colt 45.

Dumbass.


4 comments:

  1. He robbed a place he frequented, and told them he was going to do it... I ... I ... I am scared for the future of this world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Dumbass needs a Scarlet "D" sewn onto his shirt.

      Delete

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