Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbasses Hold Memorial Service for Dead Bees! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Dumbasses Hold Memorial Service for Dead Bees!

It's Christmas Eve!

And I can't think of a better way to say Merry Christmas than to piss off the Godless Commie Pussies of PETA!

I know it puts me in a Festive Mood.

So, as The First Family of the Dumbass Horde prepares for the arrival of The Reindeer-Abuser-in-Chief, I look forward to all the Dead Animal Flesh that Mrs. Fearless Leader will cook into tasty Holiday Meals fit for Man Who Leads Almost 400,000 Dumbasses in 172 Lands Circumventing the Big Blue Marble (that would be me).

PETA Member Meets My Christmas Supper
Merry Christmas, Y'all!

Dumbasses.

Best of Dumbass News

We have all heard of PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - right?

While the basic premise of PETA is a noble one, it is my opinion that the organization is largely loaded with a bunch of Dumbasses. A good example of this Dumbassery can be found in this story about PETA wanting to erect a memorial sign for some fish that were killed when the tanker truck they were being transported in was involved in a traffic accident.

PETA is also against dancing shrimp.

As I have stated many times before, I am all about punishing people who abuse animals.

As I have also stated many times before, I am a carnivore. I like to consume properly cooked and prepared animal flesh - cattle chiefly among said mammal meat.

Having been born and raised in Texas, I am also a big fan of breaded/battered deep fried yard bird (chicken) and the like.

Catfish, crappie and various and sundry other creatures of the water (fried of course) have found their way down my gullet. 

Having said all that, today's story doesn't even involve PETA!

Bwahahahahaha!

It does, however, involve a little-known (to me) PETA-like Group of Dumbasses. 

Let me splain.

The Bee's Knees   

A couple of weeks ago in Portland, Oregon somebody sprayed a bunch of linden trees with a pesticide designed to kill aphids on the trees.

The pesticide application worked. 

It is also being blamed for the death of 50,000 bees.

Enter the PETA-like Group of Dumbasses (PGD).

I know that the PGD is made up of a bunch of Dumbasses for two reasons:
  1. They are PETA-like.
  2. They held a memorial service for the dead bees!
According to FoxNews.com: Rozzell Medina, of Portland, said on a Facebook page that the event will "memorialize these fallen lifeforms and talk about the plight of the bees and their importance to life on Earth," The Oregonian reported.

While 50,000 seems like a rather large number of bees, it should be noted that a typical beehive can contain between 5000 and 100,000 of the little critters. 

Unless of course they come into contact with a deadly pesticide. 

But a frakkin' memorial service? For bugs? 

What's next? Wakes for wombats?

I can hardly wait to write about that.

Dumbasses.

8 comments:

  1. PETA is a joke. I raised a rib to them as I feasted on delish BBQ last night!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We had pig (pork chops) at the Dumbass Dome.

      Merry Christmas, Phil!

      Delete
  2. I'd like to comment on this, but I'm late for a funeral for the centipede I crushed in my basement this morning...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, Folks? This is the kind of person that reads "Dumbass News".

      Sensitive to the plight of all God's critters.


      Delete
    2. Color me insensitive, but I've got little sympathy stored up for a hunnert footed crittur that comes in 2nd place in a foot stomping contest!

      Delete
    3. See how sensitive stoo, D.E. is, people?

      100 feet vs. 2 feet. He took a chance at great personal risk.

      And stomped the shit out of that fucking caterpillar!

      Delete
  3. Debbi DeChellis (Oregon Dumbass Society)December 25, 2013 at 12:08 PM

    * Hangs head in shame * I told ya Oreeegone has a huge DumbAss society! Ugghhhh ........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the bright side....at least you guys ain't Cal-ee-forn-ya.

      Yet.

      Delete

Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings Google

Follow Us