Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Excuse to Miss Work: Call In Bomb Threat! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Excuse to Miss Work: Call In Bomb Threat!

Here are Some Facts About Your Fearless Leader You May Not Know:

  • I am 57 years old.
  • A bit over 9 years ago I met and eventually married a woman 19 years my junior.
  • She already had a 2 year old little girl when I met her.
  • I am the Only Dad My Oldest Daughter Has Ever Known.
  • Therefore, she is my Little Girl.
  • And I am her Daddy.
  • Mrs. Fearless Leader and I have a daughter together.
  • I also have two sons who are in their 30s who have children of their own.
  • Two of my Grand Kids are older that my two Youngest Children.
  • I am a Former Professional Drinker.
I edify you with this information for a few reasons:

  • Despite approaching The Twilight of My Life, I am a Stud.
  • With two Younguns, I am busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kickin' contest.
  • I don't get enough Fearless Leader/Mrs' Fearless Time with my wife.
  • I love my Little Girls, but they are, shall we say, "spirited children".
  • No, we shall say that they are Raving Little Lunatics.
  • Just like Dear Old Dad.
  • I often ask myself, Why on Earth did you quit drinking?"
  • Where's the Tequila?
  • I am an idjit.
The main point of all the bullshit I listed above is that my wife and I just don't get to spend enough time doing stuff together - Just Us Stuff.

Anybody wanna buy a couple of housebroken "spirited" little girls?

OK....I'll give you twenty bucks to take them.

That's my final offer.

Dumbass Together Time

Anthony Borrell of Ocoee, The F.L.A. doesn't get enough he'in and she'in time with his girlfriend.

She's a waitress at Gator's Dockside Restaurant in Spanish Springs.

Waiting tables is a tough job and often requires putting in a shitload of hours in order to make a decent living.

This must have been the case with Anthony's girlfriend because he thought she needed a day off of dealing with Hungry People.

Anthony, Romantic Dumbass that he is, secretly arranged with the manager of Gator's Dockside Restaurant for The Girlfriend to take a little time off her job.

By calling in a bomb threat to Gator's.

There goes "Alone Time".

I can think of many reasons for not calling in a bomb threat.

Chief among them that taking it up the ass from Cletus in the County Jail is not nearly as much fun as doing the Horizontal Hula with the woman you love.

Unless you go for that kind of stuff.

NTTAWWT.

Dumbass.

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