Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Kid Gets Kicked Out of School; Mom Goes to School to Beat His Ass; Slaps Piss Outta Wrong Kid! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Kid Gets Kicked Out of School; Mom Goes to School to Beat His Ass; Slaps Piss Outta Wrong Kid!

Best of Dumbass News

Have you ever come across twins or triplets so identical you wonder how anyone can tell them apart?

I have.

One time many years ago I was at a Dairy Queen in Tyler, Texas having a cheeseburger when a nice family came in. First in was a little boy, followed by Mom. Dad was holding the restaurant door open for the rest of the group. In walks a little girl closely tailgated by another little girl who looked exactly like the first girl. I thought, "That's cool. Twins!"

I was wrong.

A few nano seconds after that another little girl came through the door. She looked exactly like the two other girls who came in before her. I remember thinking, "Wow! That's something you don't see every day! Triplets!"

I was wrong.

Again.

Dad is still holding the door open when...you guessed it...yet another little girl walked in.

Quadruplets!

I'm telling you that it was damn near impossible to tell which girl was which. It was like the same little girl had walked into the Dairy Queen and somehow sneaked back outside and re-entered the place three more times!

I have never before that moment nor since seen anything quite like that.

Which brings us back to our opening question. How the hell does anybody, besides Mom and Dad, tell kids like this one from the other? If they were a precocious quartet, I bet they could pull some bodacious swaparoony tricks on some folks.

But what if the kid was a singleton? Easy to I.D., right?

Wrong.

Knot Slappin'

From The Poughkeepsie Journal via reagancoalition.comSPARTANBURG, S.C. --  The mother
of a middle school student who was being suspended has been arrested after deputies say she walked into the school and slapped the wrong child.

Spartanburg County sheriff's deputies say 36-year-old Tyshekka Collier went to Fairforest Middle School Wednesday morning to pick up her son. Principal Ty Dawkins called authorities after Collier walked into the office, mistook a boy for her son and slapped him in the face.
Dawkins said that boy was sick and had been waiting to be picked up.
Dawkins says once Collier realized her mistake, she apologized, then walked over to her son and knocked him to the ground.
Collier was charged with disturbing school and assault and battery. It wasn't known if she had a lawyer.
Her three children are in protective custody.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know
  • Obligatory: How in God's name could a Mother not differentiate her kid from a strange kid?
  • Even if the stoopid bitch could tell her kid from another, why the hell would she go into a school and start slapping the snot out of him?
  • Common Knot-Slappin' Etiquette dictates that slappin' a knot so big he's gotta tiptoe to scratch it on a boy's skull should be done in the privacy of one's home.
  • Never in public.
  • At least if there are witnesses.  
  • Apologizing after physically attacking another human bean does not take away the fact that one has committed assault and battery. 
  • Just ask Tyshekka.
  • Really? 
  • The Mother of the Year Award is probably out of the question now.
  • Dumbass of the Year is not.
  • Who the hell names their kid "Tyshekka"?
Dumbass.

12 comments:

  1. Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term "dopeslapping" doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dopeslapping! I haven't heard that in a while! Thanks for the memories, Bones!

      Long live AOL!

      Delete
  2. Knowing kids today, I bet the newly titled knothead probably needed it anyway.

    As you pointed out, Fearless Leader, the problem here is witnesses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Witnesses indeed.

      I was a Pre-Law Major. I know these things.

      Until I pissed my Mom off and she came to the college and....well, you know....

      Delete
  3. My real name is Tyshekka. I go by Teri because when I was a kid, I was waiting in the school office for my mom to pick me up and some crazy bitch named Tyshekka came in and slapped me right in the face. It was then that I had my name legally changed to Teri. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If i had a daughter, she'd look just like Tyshekka...

      Oh, wait....

      I do have daughters.

      And they don't look like Tyshekka.

      My given name is Dontaviustaytay though.

      Delete
    2. Debbi DeChellis (Oregon Dumbass Society)December 30, 2013 at 10:33 AM

      Teri ....... OMG!!! Hahahahaha Now that was funny!
      In Oreeegone its normal for pissed off Moms with sick kids to bitch slap your youngin...... When a pissed off Momma comes flying thru those school house doors .... kids hit the floor! Its just the way things are done round here !
      Thank Goodness I'm a Caleeefornia Native ! Where Moms carry concealed weapons!! No witnesses !!

      Delete
    3. Moms in Cal-ee-forn-ya conceal carry?

      Are they Bloods or Crips?

      Happy New Year, Debbi!

      Debbi...I think you'd like Teri's blog. She's a very funny lady. Humorous too. :)

      Here's the link: http://snarkfestblog.blogspot.com/

      Delete
    4. Dontaviustaytay, you're the best!!!

      Delete
    5. You aight too, Terishakita-isha. :)

      Delete
  4. This makes me so glad I chose to not have any children......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the Rest of World thanks you!

      Just kiddin', Bro.

      I have kids 34, 31, 11 and 6. I am a glutton for punishment.

      Delete

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