Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Scandi Pilot Falls Asleep While Flying Passenger Jet! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, December 27, 2013

Scandi Pilot Falls Asleep While Flying Passenger Jet!

Official Dumbass Reminder: On Monday, December 30, Dumbass News will begin passing out the 2013 Dummies, culminating with The Big One - The 2013 Fred G. Sanford "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award! 

Dumbass News has picked up a couple of hundred thousand new Dumbasses over the course of 2013, and many of them may not be familiar with The Dummies. 

Short explanation: think Academy Awards and/or Grammys, except with even weirder Dumbasses.

The Dummies of 2012

  • Here's a list of "winners" of Dummies in Supporting Roles
  • Nominees for and the "winner" of the 2012 Fred G. Sanford "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award can be found here.

Best of Dumbass News

Our Dumbasses today come to us from Sweden.

Land of Fjords and Chjevys.

Sweden is a beautiful country with lots of blond haired people with blue eyes and lots of Dumbasses.

For instance, a pilot for the Scandinavian Airlines System Group was piloting an aircraft bound for
Swedish Airlines Cockpit
Stockholm from Copenhagen, when the co-pilot got up to heed Nature's Call.

Upon returning to the cockpit, the co-pilot buzzed the Captain so he could get back to doing his co-piloting duties.

No answer.

He buzzed again.

Still no answer.

Finally, after several buzzings the pilot unlocked the cockpit door to let the co-pilot back in.

When queried as to why it took so long to answer the repeated buzzings, the Captain said, "Ho wofhwNuakde[p fcapHnc" which is Swedish for "I am a Dumbass and I was taking a nap while you went to piss, you fucking moron!" 

To which the stunned co-pilot replied, "Pohfeo hmasd?" which when translated to English means, "No shit?"

Fortunately the plane was on Auto-pilot while the tinkling and the napping were going on and the aircraft eventually landed safely in Stockholm.

As they say on those stupid TV commercials when you buy something valued at $300 for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling, "But, wait! There's more!"

The pilot going to sleep at the controls of a jet airliner full of passengers was duly reported to the Aviation authorities in Sweden, who reacted with a resounding yawn. They decided not to to punish the pilot for this travesty by saying (I ain't making this up) that he (the pilot) was tired because he only got four hours of sleep the night before. 

What. The. Hell?

At this point I usually point out what a load of Dumbasses run the Swedish airline industry, which they are and they do.

How can these people sleep at night? Fucking pasty skinned pussies.

This bullshit goes beyond dumbassery and wanders into negligence of the worst possible kind.

Do these Dumbasses not understand that hundreds of innocent people could have died because pilot had a rough night's sleep the night before?

I've got something to say about that, "Tpowgn lof uszpi jf;paaqfjffv!" Translated from Swedish that means , "Fuck you and the reindeer you rode in on you piece of Scandi yak shit."

And one more thing, "Ou;w gdszghh" which means....



  1. Remind me to take flying to dumbass Sweden off my list of things to do!

    1. Phil...remember not to fly to Sweden.

      There ya go.


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