Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Dumbass Bidnesses: Dog Poop, Chicken Sitting & Nekkid Maids! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Dumbass Bidnesses: Dog Poop, Chicken Sitting & Nekkid Maids!

Best of Dumbass News

The greatest asset this country has is its people.

Americans by nature are rugged individualists. Except for Obama voters. They are just stoopid fuckers. But, I digress.

Anyway, Americans in general will see a problem and instinctively look for a way to solve it. We see a need and seek a way to fulfill it.

In other words, we Americans are an industrious bunch. Again with the exception of O-bots, who are, generally speaking, a cabal of lazy motherfuckers. Now before you go postal on me because of my opinion about Obamatrons, I know that many of them are good, decent hard working folks. The fact remains, however, that they are good, decent, hard working stoopid fuckers. Again, I digress.

Overall though, Americans will see an opportunity and seize it.

Take dog poop for example.

Supply and Demand

A guy in Charlottesville, Virginia saw dog doo doo and turned it into gold by starting a bidness named Doody Calls. He, and forty franchisees in twenty-three states, go around picking up Bowser Bombs in dog parks and back yards all over the country. Who knew that Poodle Patties could be turned into gold?

Nekkididity also pays off. A motel owner in Florida was watching his bidness dwindle into near non-existence when he came up with a simple but brilliant way to turn things around. The miraculous solution that saved his motel? Nekkididity. He re-branded his motel as "clothing optional". He's now raking in the cheese.

Lubbock, Texas is a college town, home to Texas Tech University. This means that they are thousands of young, unmarried men. This, in turn, means that there are thousands of unkempt houses and apartments in Lubbock. College guys ain't exactly known as Better Homes and Garden kind of guys. In other words, male college students are pigs when it comes to tidy homes. Seeing a bidness opportunity, a Smart Guy started a maid service. OK, what's so brilliant about that? The brilliance lies in the fact that it is a Nekkid Maid Service! College Guys and Horny Old Bastards all around Lubbock jumped the Nekkid Maid Train like a duck on  a June bug.

The point is: there was a call for dog shit picker uppers, nekkid motels and nekkid maids and some enterprising Americans answered it.

What a country!

Another Success Story?

Linda Walker of Portland, Oregon did a solid (for all the Yoopers in the Reading Audience, that means "a favor") for a friend and turned it into a start up small bidness.

Linda's friend was going on her honeymoon and needed someone to baby sit for her. Except the "baby sitting" wasn't for a baby. It was for over two hundred chickens!

So what does Linda do? She starts her own Chicken Sitting bidness! Linda informs us that she has received over twenty inquiries into her Chicken Sittin' gig.

I don't now if Chicken Sitting is worth its weight in dog dookey or not, and it certainly ain't as cool as nekkididity, but you gotta admit that Linda has hatched a unique idea.

Another benefit to chicken sitting is chicken shit. Lots of chicken shit.

Now that's a bidness just waitin' to happen.

Doody Calls.



  1. Scoopin' chalupas, huh?

    My neighbor doesn't have that problem, at least not in the winter. Her black lab loves to recycle by eating his frozen poop.

    There's something wrong with that dawg . . .

  2. I love clever business names. There's a company around here that rents out portopotties called Gotta-Go. I chuckle almost every time I drive by that place.

    1. Gotta-Go! That's a good one!

      Thanks for the comment, TD!

  3. Thank Dog you're here to add a voice of "reason" to a mad, mad, mad world, Fearless Leader.

    1. That says a lot about the world we live in, doesn't it?

      BTW...the quotes around the word "reason" is a nice (and necessary) touch.

  4. Damn, why didn't I think of the pooper scooper idea? I could have made a CRAP load of money by now!

  5. Dang! I wish I was a dumbass and could think of something brilliantly stupid to fill a need and make my millions.


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