Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: We Have a Winner! 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, January 3, 2014

We Have a Winner! 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year!

Today is The BIG Day!

In just a few dozen short words, we will announce the winner of the 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award!

I know that you have been waiting with bated breath for The Big One. 

This Is The Big One!

Sadly, your breath smells like it's been baited with sun-dried aardvark liver.

But first....this brief interlude...

2013 delivered us a Deluge of Dumbassery.

This Stash of Stoopididity served up a surplus of silliness.

OK, OK....I'll aggressively abstain from any more alliteration.

Maybe.

A lot of good shit came down the Dumbass Drainage Ditch (alliteration!) in the 2-0 to the 1-3.

A Review of The Dummies So Far

Let us recount some of the more, shall we say "Memorable" Moments of Madness that oozed from the news like pus from a rancid boil on Michael Moore's ample swamp donkey sweaty ass.
The Nominees for The 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award!
And the winner of The 4th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Award! is.......from the David Carradine This Is How I Get My Jollies Division - The Fork in the Penis Sex Game Guy!

Who saw that coming?

We have seen a LOT of crazy shit over the last three-plus years of writing Dumbass News, including Port-O-Potty Doo Doo Divers, but we have never, and I mean NEVER, had a story as sick, twisted, demented, are-you-fucking-kidding-me stoopid as this one.

By the way, fork purchases amongst the male members of The Dumbass Horde skyrocketed the day this story was published.

I'm just sayin'.

See you in December for the 5th Annual Fred G. Sanford Memorial "You Big Dummy" Dumbass of the Year Awards!

Gawd help us all.

Dumbasses.

6 comments:

  1. Next year, let's have a Maine Redneck style barbecue bash to recognize the winners. I'll even get a mullet cut for the occasion, and bring along Jennifer Lawrence - not the gorgeous actress, but the lady at the local Walmart who got assigned the garden center for the winter - in Bismark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now *that's* a plan, Eli!

      Mi casa es su casa!

      BTW...you know what the biggest cash crop (besides pot) in Bismark is? Iceberg Lettuce! (rimshot!)

      Delete
  2. That live traffic feed thingy is really cool except every time I visit here it says a different city. Hmm. Love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Susan for the kind words!

      Re: Live Traffic/Different City...Are running from the Cops? :)

      Delete
  3. Posts like these are why I love your blog. As for the winner of this dumbass award all I can say is "ouch"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Phil!

      This guy was the Leader in the Club House the minute read the story. The only other real contender was the Poison Vajayjay Lady...so I gave her a different Dummy. After all, she deserved SOMETHING for Attempted Murder by Tainted Poon.

      Delete

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