Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: White Guy Goes to War; White Wife Has Black Baby While He's Gone! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, January 16, 2014

White Guy Goes to War; White Wife Has Black Baby While He's Gone!

By the time you read this I will be under the knife. <--Read this for more info. (Guest Post Opportunities also)

I hope the surgeon got a good night's sleep.

And a blow job.

Best of Dumbass News

Since I started writing this blog in September, 2010, I have made fun of every class, race, creed, skin color and/or national origin, especially those pansies the Fwench. You'd have to go all the way back to yesterday to see my latest demolition of those surrender-happy Frogs. If you, too, like to lob a few verbal grenades at the Fwench, just go to the "search" button in the left sidebar and type in "Fwench". A veritable novel on "pussified" will be at your finger tips.

Enough about those Dumbasses.

Anyway, my somewhat verbose point here is that although I have ripped all the people I listed above, I have never done so because of race, color, national origin (except the Fwench), etc. I have stood fast to my word that I'll make fun of anybody, any time. My three exclusions from that are the Pope, my Mom, not yours, and Billy Graham.

End. Of. Story.

He Serves His Country, She Serves a Bruthah

Here's the scene: A guy is in a branch of the United States Military serving in Iraq. (Thanks for your service!) He is a white guy. He was overseas for a year when he was sent back state side. He came home a hero.

And a Dumbass.

Stay with me here, that ain't a shot at military guys. You'll see what I mean in a moment.

When the soldier left for Iraq, he left behind his wife. She's a cracker, too. Upon arriving back in the USA, the guy goes home to his white wife.

And a black baby.

Let's do a quick review here.
  • White Soldier goes overseas leaving a wife behind.
  • Soldier is gone for TWELVE months.
  • Fast forward a year. Soldier comes home to his white wife.
  • And a black baby. A less than year old black baby.
This gets even better, Dumbasses.

The Dumbass Part

The slut white chick says she got pregnant from, dig this shit, watching a 3D porn flick! I swear on my late Father's grave that I am not making this up.

Any questions?

I have some.

Q & A

You Dumbasses know me. I am rather inquisitive. Before I continue, I'll concede a few things:
  • Against astronomical odds, this kind of stuff happens. Click here to read some weird shit.
  • Jennifer Stewart is a cheating piece of possum poop.
  • The baby in this story is a cutie pie.
Let's start with the simple, verifiable fact that the alleged Daddy, a white guy, was in Iraq for a year, fighting for his country. His was wife was not pregnant when he left. He came home to a baby less than a year old , and whose skin is of the African persuasion. I went to public school and even I can do the math on this one. The kid ain't the white guy's.

The preceding paragraph is filled with pesky little things called facts, many admitted to by the Mom. Their veracity is unquestionable. "Lifelike", even.


The Crazy Part

Mom claims she was impregnated by the black guy star of a 3D porn movie she had seen. She says that the baby resembles Bruthah Big Johnson. I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but, lady, your kid has such a generic baby's face that he even looks like me! 

And I ain't the daddy.

Even more bizarre is the fact that her husband believes her!!!

"3D movies are very lifelike", he says. No, Sir, war is very "lifelike". I think one of the goat-fuckers you were try to send to his 72 virgins put some tainted camel piss in your MREs. While I shall be eternally grateful for your service to our country, White Guy, you are an utter moron, idiot, dumbfuck, dipshit, Dumbass. White Guy, I hate to tell you this, but your Old Lady did the Horizontal Hula with a Black Guy and it ain't from a "likelike" 3D movie or the amazing technology we enjoy today. She broke her vows to you with a good old fashion "lifelike" black weenie attached to a "lifelike" Black Guy.

End. Of. Story.

Now the whore is gonna sue the film company that produce the 3D "lifelike" digital sperm?

It is my considered opinion that these two people be admitted to a "lifelike" Looney Fucking Tunes Funny Farm. I suffer from several "mental illnesses", therefore I feel my opinion should carry at least a little weight. However, it doesn't take a Mental Midget like me to determine that this couple is a pair of "lifelike"...

Dumbasses.

8 comments:

  1. I remember reading about this, but I must have missed the part where he believed her. Those two definitely deserve each other, it seems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dumbasses of a feather indeed.

      Y'all click on Twindaddy's name and navigate on over to his blog Stuphblog. TD is a great writer and covers a lot of stuph at his place.

      Delete
  2. I also remember reading about this. Something seems amiss in the DNA pool here.

    I watch porn but have yet to get a BJ through the TV screen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm . . . would a 3D TV help?

      Delete
    2. If a guy could get a blow job through the TV screen by watching porn, we wouldn't have to get married!

      Win-win!

      Delete

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