Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Lesson Plan: Teacher Shows Up at School Drunk! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Lesson Plan: Teacher Shows Up at School Drunk!

There are people out there with some tough jobs.

Jobs that are often thankless or taken for granted by the General Public.

Being a Law Enforcement Officer comes to mind.

When a cop is out on a call, he never knows what is gonna happen next.

He could come face to face with a psychotic killer with a Dirty Harry-type gun.

And a death wish.

Or he could get his ass kicked by a woman with duct taped tits. 

Even the seemingly mundane task of issuing a parking ticket could turn to shit.

Literally. 

Another oft-forgotten occupation, although a well-respected one, that is regularly over looked despite being demanding and time consuming as hell, is teaching.

Michelle Drunk Belle

Higher Education

Just imagine spending God knows how many hours cooped up in a small room with twenty or thirty whiny ass hoodlums children all day. Talk about needing the patience of Job.

And lots of booze.

A substitute teacher in Ada, Oklahoma was prepared to teach an elementary school class. And by "was prepared" I naturally mean "commode-huggin' drunk".


As a Former Professional Drinker, let me share with you some Very Astute Former Professional Drinker Observations...

  • Being imprisoned within arm's reach of a class room full of kids of all temperaments is a very stressful situation.
  • Thus requiring a not insignificant quantity of distilled spirits.
  • Preferably grain alcohol.
  • The Three Rs.
  • Rum, Reposado, Rumpleminze
  • A, B, C
  • Absolut, Bourbon, Crown Royal
  • Did police require this Inebriated Educator have to walk the Number Line?
  • When asked to recite the alphabet, was she allowed to read them off those little ABC thingies on the wall of the classroom? 
  • See Jane.
  • Jane is a Dick.
  • A drunk Dick.
  • Drunk Teacher Required Reading: Tequila Mockingbird
Dumbass.

***Hat tip Fox News***

12 comments:

  1. I would have enjoyed school much more had my teachers been drunk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would have enjoyed school a lot more if *I* had been drunk!

      Delete
  2. I've always had my suspicions about Jane.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's how they are teaching the future dumbasses that your site will report on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking the same thing, Phil...that I'll be writing about her students some day.

      Delete
  4. So what you're saying it, don't show up to work drunk and try to shape and mold the minds of the young? Ok, got it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless of course the kids are hammered too.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. I wonder if she could get her ABCs correct during the field sobriety test?

      Delete
  6. One of my teachers in high school had a coffee mug he never ever set down. Funny though, it never smelled like coffee, and never had coffee stains...
    We're pretty sure he was drinking all day long from that mug.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was probably drinking "tater juice". (vodka)

      Delete

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