Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Catch of a Lifetime! Fisherman Snags SCUBA Diver By the Nut Sack! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Catch of a Lifetime! Fisherman Snags SCUBA Diver By the Nut Sack!

Best of Dumbass News



The story I am about to enlighten you with is something very close to what happened to me once while fishing, so I totally believe in its veracity.

Besides, the British newspaper The Telegraph wouldn't lie to us, would they?

Of course not!

(coughbullshitcough)

It seems that this British Guy was fishing for mackerel in the surf of the Atlantic Ocean near Exmouth, England, when he got what he thought was the bite of a lifetime.

Heart pounding at the mere thought of a giant catch, British Guy set the hook and fought the beast for what must have seemed like an eternity.

The catch then surfaced and British Guy's pounding heart sank into his shorts, exposing something he would not expected in a million years.

He had caught a ...wait...for ...it...scuba diver!

I swear I am not making this up.

Adding insult to injury, the diver was hooked in the balls!

This gets even better.

The diver's girlfriend surfaced about this time and removed the fish hook from the guy's nut sack, swam to shore and, according to the fishing British Guy, "nonchalantly handed the hook back to me and apologised." bwahahahahahaha! That's great stuff right there.

Those whacky Brits are a laugh a minute, aren't they? Stiff upper lip and all that.

If a fisherman hooked me in the manhood, I come up with a spear gun and send him to his Reward. I'm just sayin'.

The Dumbass in this story is the Scuba Diver.

Why?

He was supposed to have a little floating marker that showed divers were in the area. He didn't.

British Guy had this to say, "My brother-in-law's a diver and he said it served the bloke right - at the end of the day he could have ruined his kit (British for "nut sack") or even worse."

Off the top of my head, I can't think of many things worse than a 1/0 fish hook embedded in my scrotum, but I am sure that such things exist. Where? I don't know, but they must exist and I do not want to know about them. Enough said.

The moral of this story is that when scuba diving the diver must let fishermen, boats, whatever, know that he is diving in the area. The diver should also, unlike the diver in the story, wear a protective cup over his junk just in case.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of nut sack.

Dumbass.

9 comments:

  1. Bet he doesn't forget his little floatie thing in the future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next time he forgets his little floatie thingy, he just might lose his other little thingy.

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    2. Hey, Y'all! Rhonda has a blog called "Bitch & Whine" that you have got to go read and subscribe to!

      Delete
  2. On Wednesday, I had facial surgery on my cheek. I have been trying hard not to laugh for four days now, for fear of tearing a stitch.

    I am pleased to report that I laughed my ass off at this post. I am, apparently, healing well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dumbass News - Proving Ground for Medical Healing Since 2010

      Speedy recovery, Elyse!

      Delete
    2. You might want to mention that to the diver, Fearless Leader.

      Delete
  3. Just reading this put me through so much pain! It's bad enough when I accidentally clock myself in the nuts with my belt buckle. Ouch!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As you can see by the photo above, at least it wasn't a treble hook!

      Delete

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