Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Search Party Looking For Lost Tourist Joined By Tourist They Are Looking For! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, March 17, 2014

Search Party Looking For Lost Tourist Joined By Tourist They Are Looking For!

I like to travel.

And explore.

I call this pursuit of Places Yet Seen "Grabbin' Some Yonder".

While I am not an International Traveler (unless you count a quick cruise through Ciudad Jaurez an "international" trip), I have been to 30 some odd states across The Fruited Plain.

There are many destinations outside the United States that I'd like to visit - Italy, China, Russia, Spain, New Jersey...

OK, I was kidding about New Jersey.

I've been there anyway.

I think another cool locale to spend a week or two would be Iceland.    
Experience Buowogf3qvbaw/oirokdoodoo Here 

Iceland has some cool stuff going on.

Like a shit load of active volcanoes.

And a Penis Museum. 

For real.

Other than the volcanoes and the World's Largest Dick Collection, another thing that piqued my interest in Iceland is a new reality TV show that shows a bunch of American Dumbasses searching for diamonds, rubies and other precious stones, not to mention walrus weenies, in remote locations throughout The Land of Fire and Ice.

Three Hour Tour

About a week and a half ago, a group of people, probably from New Jersey, were touring Iceland by way of bus.

Things were going swimmingly, the tourists were seeing some incredible Icelandic sights (and maybe the Penis Museum) and learning some basic Iceland-ite language.

Buowogf3qvbaw/oirok is a phrase commonly used by bus-riding foreigners (New Jersey-ians, in particular) when the bus stops for a few moments so the passengers can stretch their legs and take a shit.

Buowogf3qvbaw/oirok, by the way, means "where the fuck are we?" in the Icelandiastani tongue.

Buowogf3qvbaw/oirok is not to be confused with another popular Icelandic phrase Buowogf3qvbaw/oirokdoodoo - "I am about to experience an ass explosion that would rival a nuclear weapon detonation, where's the fucking toilet?" 

Missing Tourist

Anyway, the tour bus loaded with New Jersicans and Other Assorted Dumbasses made a scheduled pit stop for pooping and the inevitable Buowogf3qvbaw/oirok. 

As the passengers were re-boarding the bus a head count was taken.

Horror of horrors, a passenger was missing!

It is appropriate at times like this for Icelanderians to exclaim, pijgt3wgheagangrtus!"

Loosely translated, this means, "Holy shit, we've misplaced a New Jerseyfarian!"

After about an hour of waiting for the Lost New JerseyHeifer to return to the tour group, the driver called the Police and a search party of about fifty people (bus passengers and cops) was formed.

Including the lady the search party was looking for!

It seems that during the rest stop, the Lost Housewife of New Jersey had taken time for a Buowogf3qvbaw/oirokdoodoo and had changed clothes so none of the other tourists nor the bus driver recognized her! 

After much unsuccessful search partying, gnashing of the teeth and pijgt3wgheagangrtus-shouting, it was determined that the number passengers counted during the re-boarding process had been miscalculated!

So, like a good Buowogf3qvbaw/oirokdoodoo (translation: ass explosion that would rival a nuclear weapon detonation, where's the fucking toilet?), everything came out right.

As they say in Icelanderianite lingo, dingleberryousfaja.

Translation: Dumbasses.

***Hat tip to the Mother of the Most Handsome Grandson (Who Looks Like His Paternal Grandpa) In the World - Faith***

***Thanks to USA Today***

***Photo by Laura Bly, USA Today***

6 comments:

  1. Wow. The dumbass is strong with them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. People from New Jersey are a breed all their own....

    ReplyDelete
  3. i gotta lay of the New Jersicans.

    Maybe rag on Oklahoma for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  4. A simple change of clothes fooled 50 plus people?? Do skandi bad guys know this?

    ReplyDelete

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