Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Too Busy for Robbery, Manager Tells Bad Guys to Come Back In an Hour; They Do! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Too Busy for Robbery, Manager Tells Bad Guys to Come Back In an Hour; They Do!


Today's Daily Dive into the Dumpster of Dumbassery reveals several elements of the plot line that assure its bona fides as a truly Dumbass News - worthy event:

  • Armed Robbery
  • Stoopididity
  • Quick thinking by the Good Guy
  • Chicago
  • Meskins
The Meskins in our story, Mario and Domingo, were sitting around the hacienda one day slamming down some cheap tequila (the kind with the worm in it) when boredom overtook them. They were bantering back and forth trying to figure how they could spice up the night.
Mario & Domingo, Meskins

The conversation went something like this:

Mario: "Hey, Domingo. This El Cheapo Tequila tastes like burro piss."
Domingo: "That's because that is burro piss. The El Cheapo is in that bottle over there."
Mario: "Ja ja ja!" (ed. note - the letter "j" in Meskin Language is pronounced like the "h" in Gringo Lingo)
Domingo: "Boredom has overcome me, Mario. Whatever shall we do?"
Mario: "I have an idea, Domingo! Let's hop into the '64 Chebby Low-rider, vamoos from the barrio, go                   find a Gringo Restaurant and commit a felonious act such as armed robbery!"
Domingo: "El O.K.-o, amigo!"

So Mario and Domingo had another shot of El Cheapo and headed out into the Windy City in search of a White Guy Restaurant (presumably Cracka Barrel) to knock off.

They found one - The Clifton Grill.

They go inside and tell the owner of the eatery, "I will kill you, I have a gun with me."

To which the Restaurant Guy responds, "I'm busy, can you come back in an hour?"

Mario and Domingo said, "Si, Senor".

I am not making this up.

The Dos Pendejos left and returned an hour later demanding $100 and food.

Have I mentioned that the "gun" Mario and Domingo claimed to have was a toy squirt gun?

The two were then greeted by the local constabulary and unceremoniously escorted to the County Lock Up where they will undoubtedly be playmates in a nice game of "Hide the Chorizo" with other Meskin inmates.

O-lay!

Dumbasses.

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