Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Lady Who Sells Sexy Lingerie Fired for Having Big Boobs! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Friday, April 4, 2014

Lady Who Sells Sexy Lingerie Fired for Having Big Boobs!

Best of Dumbass News

If you have read Dumbass News for any period of time longer than about ten minutes, you know that I am against discrimination in any way, shape or form.

Except when it's necessary to the plot.

Or against the Fwench.

The Fwench deserve derision and scorn at every turn. But, I digress.

Discriminating against any person, except the Fwench of course, because of religion, race, national origin, creed, large hooters, etc. is a crime against humanity. Especially wen being discriminatory against a big rack.

Which brings us to today's story.

The Bigguns in Question
Fired Because of Heat Seeking Missiles

Lauren Odes is a young woman from New Jersey who just happens to be shall we say, "well-endowed". No, we shall not. We shall say that Lauren has very large knockers. It's these females appendages that are the source of Ms. Odes' problem.

Lauren was fired from her job because her heat seekers are too big.

I know, this is the worst form of discrimination possible. Look at all the joy and comfort that titties have brought into the world since the time of Adam and Eve. Think about it. Babies had to have something to eat, right? Another example of boobs being of benefit to mankind, children specifically, is the story of the nice strippers who tried to help out a Los Angeles Little League Baseball team.

I guess I should now mention that Ms. Odes and her hammers worked for a sexy lingerie store! I thought the idea of sexy underwear for women was to show a female's assets. Am I wrong?

Disturbing Questions

Question 1) What do the owners of the "Almost Nekkid Lady Shop" have against massive breastses?

Question 2) Note that is an important part of the story: The owners of the "Almost Nekkid Lady Shop" are Orthodox Jews. That is a pertinent fact of the story. Why? Because there is evidently a dress code of some sort for Orthodox Jewish wimmin and Lauren was expected to follow that dress code. She was given a bathrobe to cover her chestictular protrusions and felt insulted, so she went shopping to buy clothing that complied with the Orthodox Jewish Wimmin dress code. She was then notified on her cell phone that she had been relieved of her duties as an Almost Nekkid Lady Lingerie Sales Person. It is also essential to note that Lauren Odes is a Jew as well. Not Orthodox, but Jewish nonetheless. Now the question; what do the Orthodox Jews have against New Jersey-size hooters?

Question 3) If the bidness that Lauren worked for sold sexy lingerie, wouldn't great big tits be a valuable sales tool? Tools?

Lauren Hires a Publicity Hound

I was gonna subtitle this section of the story "Lauren Hires a Publicity Whore", but the publicity whore Lauren hired is Gloria Allred and Ms. Allred has no compunction about suing a guy like me for calling her a publicity whore. So, I won't call call G-Red a publicity whore in order to avoid any possible litigation. However! Gloria can not sue me for thinking that she is a publicity whore. Therefore, I think Gloria Allred is a publicity whore.

Ms. Allred, whom I think is a PR hooker whore, is an excellent choice in Lauren's pursuit of Justice against the Orthodox Jewish Guys Who Hate Big Bosoms and terminate female employees who are blessed with a substantial rack. Gloria Allred, when representing a wronged woman, is like a pit bull on a T-bone. Vicious and unstoppable.

As much as I think Ms. Allred is a publicity whore, I am actually on her side this time. She has taken up a case worthy of litigation and will be certainly prevail against the Orthodox Jewish Guys Who Hate Big Boobs in a court of law.

And deservedly so.

Good luck to Lauren and her heat seekers.

As for the Orthodox Jewish Guys Who Dislike Bodacious Ta-tas...

Yutzis.

Dumbasses.

***Thanks to the Daily Mail for the Photo***

10 comments:

  1. LOL . . . I'm still trying to get my head around WTF Orthodox Jews are doing running a lingerie store.

    Something's not kosher here . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe she's supposed to have those long curly sideburns.

      Oh, wait...wrong Jooooos.

      Delete
  2. Talk about a double (get it double?) standard. I hope she wins her case! I can't stand Gloria she's a loud vicious person with a huge chip on her shoulder, but I see how she could win this one. I wonder what happened to Gloria in her past.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gloria is from San Francisco (I think), that's her problem. But I am on her side here. <--- I can't believe I just typed that.

      Delete
  3. Um, she can come work for me anytime! I encourage her "assets" as part of work skills I approve of

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet you would show her your "yarmulke", huh, Phil?

      Delete
  4. As a Jew, I still have not idea what the hell is going on here.
    On the bright side, she'll probably be all over the talk shows, so we can see her for ourselves.

    Hope she wins her case though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooooooooohhhhhhhh...Guapowitz! I get it now!

      Being a Gentile of the Catholic persuasion (funny, I don't look like one!), I hope she wins her case also.

      Delete
  5. Only on Dumbass News... Thank God!

    ReplyDelete

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