Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Man Does 15 Years for Robbery; Gets Out, Robs Same Store! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, April 7, 2014

Man Does 15 Years for Robbery; Gets Out, Robs Same Store!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Many successful people will tell you that this mantra is the foundation upon which they eventually built their fortunes.

It is important to note here that a lot of prosperous folks are Dumbasses, but few Dumbasses are prosperous.

Take me, for example.

I am a Dumbass.

I am a Fearless Leader.

I am The Main Motherfucker of a Blogging Empire.

But, I am far from "successful", as in "rolling in the dough".

I am, however, doing very fucking well at "floundering in the depths of despair and poverty".

The Solution to my hopelessness would be for you Dumbasses to hit the "Donate" up in the top right of the page and actually, you know, donate a few bucks to the Lift Fearless Leader From the Depths of Despair and Poverty Fund. Five dollars a month (that's the price of two 40s, yo) from each of you would elevate Your Fearless Leader to a station in life that we Texans call Walkin' in High Cotton. 

The Other Side of Try, Try Again

When a man hones and develops a certain level of skill at something, it often leads to financial security.

Other times it leads to Social Security.
Christopher M. Miller, Loser

Or prison.

Christopher Miller of Toms River, New Jersey had an idea to perfect a much-in-demand skill for Garden State Dumbasses - armed robbery. 

With much dedication and enthusiasm, Chris set out to achieve his dream.

So he robbed a shoe store, tied up a bunch of employees, packed them into a back room and made off with his ill-gotten gains.

Then he got busted.

This was in 1999.

After his first foray as a Felon In Training, Chris had fifteen long years to ready himself for his next maneuver into malfeasance.

That's how long he was in the Slammer.

After paying his decade and a half debt to society, Chris was released back into the Outside World.

With the Taste of Liberty still tickling his taste buds, Christopher Miller did what any red-blooded American Shit-for-Brains would do with his new found Freedom - he immediately returned to the same shoe store he had knocked off oh so many years ago to reminisce.

And rob the place again!

He is being held on $100,000 bail.

Dumbass.

***Hat Tip to Mrs. Fearless Leader, MishMawsh and Other things Bad Ass***
***Thanks to CBSLocal in NYC***

8 comments:

  1. Just when you think that someone couldn't be more dumbass...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait'll you read tomorrow's post.

      Some of your Faith in humanity will be lost.

      Delete
    2. The Mayor in the other story makes me wanna puke.

      Delete
  2. Should've picked a different store to rob. That was his first mistake.

    ReplyDelete

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