Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Marketing Genius: Get a FREE Pizza with a Vasectomy! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Marketing Genius: Get a FREE Pizza with a Vasectomy!

Best of Dumbass News

As we all know, the economy is in pretty rough shape.

As a result, many retailers are offering incentives for you to shop at their business. You know what I 1 get 1 free, late night sales that offer deep discounts, etc.

That said, I found a business with an incentive that tops anything you've ever seen before.

Snip Snip

A doctor in Sandwich. Massachusetts had a plan for all you guys on the go. This special gives new meaning to the term "March Madness". For you men about town, Dr. Evan Cohen is offering with each vasectomy in March, a FREE pizza! Yes, men, while some guy is fooling around with your nut sack, you can enjoy a nice, hot pepperoni pizza!


Ironic, ain't it?

The pizza of course contains no sausage balls. I'm just sayin'.

Dr. Cohen says that this is the busiest time of year in his clinic for men who seek vasectomies, so he thought a little enticement might boost business. Why he chose pizza I don't know. It seems to me that hookers would be more appropriate. I mean shouldn't a guy make test run with his newly snipped huevos rancheros.

Great Idea

Personally, I think this is a great idea. Not necessarily pizza as the premium, though. I think the good Doctor should give away a Cadillac or something with every 20th nut cuttin'. Now that would bring in the business. Think about it. Here are these guys who are giving up ever being a father again and all Dr. Cohen offers is a pizza? C'mon, Doc. Up the ante a little. However. it's quite possible that we don't want the vasectomees to reproduce again. They are in Massachusetts after all. But, I digress.

From a marketing standpoint, this is pure genius though. Professionals from all walks of life should give this promotion a try. Lawyers could give away a free divorce or write your will for free. Baby doctors give pass out free diapers, etc.

This whole idea does bring up a question though. What would a proctologist use as an incentive for a colonoscopy?

The more pressing question is: will this procedure be covered by ObamaCare?



  1. You'd think with the economy in the shitter people would be doing whatever they could to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

  2. Well this is literally nuts! I do have to wonder what the hell is on the pizza?

  3. You had me sold at free pizza!

  4. I remember hearing about the pizza and vasectomy. I guess if you're going to get one anyway, go to the doctor that is giving away a free dinner. Proctologist? Taco Bell gift cards.


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