Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Anti-Meat Pansies Want to Ban Bacon From Iron Pigs' Baseball Stadium! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Anti-Meat Pansies Want to Ban Bacon From Iron Pigs' Baseball Stadium!


They are messing the Holiest of Foods Not Approved By the Council of Kosheridity.

I am speaking of course of bacon! 

And this time the culprits are not Moose Limbs, but Normal People.

Of course by "Normal People" I mean Dumbasses that are stoopid as yak shit and twice as smelly.

These Skid Marks on the Underwear of Life are an organized group of anti-meat pussies known as the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, or in the vernacular, "Dumb Fucks".

The Dumb Fucks are not only on a rampage against bacon, but are also savagely attacking America's Pastime - making fun of the Igmo in Chief, Barry Soetero. OK....I made that part up even though more Americans make fun of Preznit I-Didn't-Know-About-the-VA-Scandal-Until-I-Saw-It-On-the-News than attend every baseball game in the country from Tee Ball to the Big Leagues in a full season.


The Dumb Fucks have their granny panties in a wad because a Minor League Baseball Team, the Lehigh Valley (Pa) Iron Pigs, serve bacon products at their ballpark. The Iron Pigs also have bacon-themed uniforms and the team slogan is"Smell the Change". 

Now what could be more All American than that?

Nonetheless, the Dumb Fucks are bitchin', moanin' and whinin' like a bunch of female victims of internet catfishing with PMS.

I told you they were pussies.

The Dumb Fucks even erected a billboard a mile from the Iron Pigs' stadium that says, Keep Kids Safe: Ban Bacon From Ballparks" in an attempt to stop the Iron Pigs from "glorifying bacon". As if this shit isn't insane enough, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine compared bacon to tobacco by proclaiming that 'the team would never pass out cartons of cigarettes to the children of the Lehigh Valley, yet they are providing open access to (God forbid!) bacon crumbles turning a family-friendly event in a (wait. for. it.) a public health crisis!

You ain't seen nothin' yet, folks.

The Dumb Fucks continue in a letter to the Allentown Mayor and the Iron Pigs' owners that "consuming bacon and other processed meat products can be as deadly as smoking"

Oh, it gets better, y'all....The Dumb Fucks conclude with (and I ain't makin' this up), "When you glorify bacon, you are really glorifying cancer! 

Bacon Bits (My Thoughts)

  • Go Iron Pigs!
  • If loving bacon is wrong, I don't want to be right.
  • When bacon is outlawed, only outlaws will have bacon.
  • Canadians don't know shit about real bacon.
  • Give me bacon or give me Death!
  • Four score and seven years ago, our Fathers brought for to this continent...bacon!
  • You can have my bacon when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
  • The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine are Justin Bieber fans. 
    Iron Pigs Scratch & Sniff Bacon T-Shirt
  • Fuck Moose Limbs and The Dumb Fucks.
  • Bacon-hating bastards.

***You can order Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs 
       merchandise here ***
***Tell the Iron Pigs that "Dumbass News" sent you!***
***I DO NOT get any compensation AT ALL for plugging         Iron Pigs Swag***
***Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs - America's Team! ***
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