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Friday, May 16, 2014

Tear Down That House! It's Not Mine But Trash It Anyway!

We have had some really great Neighbor Stories on Dumbass News, and today's Jaunt Into Jackassery picks up where other stories like it leave off.

Just yesterday we had a wonderful tale of a guy who threatened to kill his neighbor because the neighbor farted!

One of my All Time Favorite Posts is about a guy who couldn't make babies because his little swimmers were not up to snuff. So what does he do to get his wife knocked up? Use one of many advances in the treatment of infertility to impregnate her? Nope. He hires his neighbor to boink his old lady. Seventy. Two. Times! Be sure to read this one for a very large dose of irony at the end.

While these two stories hold positions of high esteem on The Excellence in Dumbassery Scale (Neighbor Division), what you are about to read may knock them down a notch or two.

A Lady Dumbass in the Oldest City in the United States, St. Augustine, Florida, Moreta Folch, decided to have a home on the property on which she lived demolished. 
Moreta Boo Boo


So she called the Wrecking Crew.

Soon the Demolition Dumbasses arrived and began to do an expert job on what they are trained to do - tear shit up.

As Fate would have it, some Other Dumbasses showed up at the demolition site a little while later and were horrified at what they saw! The home in question and its accompanying septic system were nearly completely destroyed!

The Other Dumbasses were justifiably shocked at what the were witnessing because it was their house that was being torn to shreds!

I think it is important to note that all this chicanery was taking place in a trailer park!

But, "O Wise and Benevolent Fearless Leader, what the hell is going on here", you are curious to know.

The Original Dumbass in our story, Moreta Folch, had unilaterally determined that the Other Dumbasses were undesirable neighbors, and her mind by smashing their trailer to smithereens was a perfectly acceptable way to get them to move.

Oh, the Other Dumbasses were forced to relocate all right.

And so was Moreta - to the St. Johns County Jail, where an endless loop of Honey Boo Boo reruns await her.

Is that considered "cruel and unusual punishment" ?

Dumbass.

***Hat Tip to MyFoxDFW  & Dumbass Extraordinaire Matt Vaughn***

7 comments:

  1. I'm sure she just "loves" her neighbours now! Wholly crap how dumbass can people be? The answer scares me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they would not share their crack cocaine with her.

      Delete
    2. Well she deserves to go without!

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    3. Common Crack Cocaine Sharing Etiquette is breached when one party has the house of the other party demolished.

      Delete
    4. Well since there's that rule then...

      Delete
  2. Honestly, do these tontos really think they will not get caught? They are obviously too tonto to even consider the consequences. I guess it's a good thing because otherwise, what would we do for entertainment??

    Espero que pases un fin de semana muy bueno! :)

    ReplyDelete

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