Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: California Chrome: Unofficial Official Horse of Dumbass News! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Monday, June 9, 2014

California Chrome: Unofficial Official Horse of Dumbass News!

A few years ago, a Two Guys got together and bought the foal of two lousy ass race horses.

They named the little horsey "California Chrome".

Fellow horsemen mocked and derided them as "Dumbasses" for spending a shit load of money on the progeny of two glue factory candidates.

Thus, these Two Guys formed a bidness enterprise to forever known as Dumb Ass Partners.
Dumb Ass Partners Logo

Normally with a bidness name like Dumb Ass Partners, one would think of an entrepreneurial venture such as a meth lab in your underwear. 

Or perhaps opening an Intragalactic Real Estate office and selling that big yellow ball in the center of or solar system

These are without a doubt two very profitable investments except for a couple of minor details.

  1. Possession and/or sale of meth is highly illegal and
  2. The deed to the Sun is very difficult to locate.
However, owning a thoroughbred horse is legal and the birth certificate for a race horse is easily obtained - unless your horse is the President of the United States.

As you well know California Chrome took the horse racing world by storm when he won the Run For the Roses. The colt's legend really exploded when against all horsey genetics (read: dog food bound) odds, California Chrome was victorious in the second leg of horse racing's Triple Crown, The Preakness. 

Having captured the first two jewels of the Triple Crown, California Chrome was on the cusp of being the first horde since 1978 and only the twelfth ever (I think) to win all three races.

Then something bad happened. Namely The Belmont Stakes - a brutal mile and a half track that has dashed the hopes of many thoroughbreds seeking Horse Racing Immortality. California Chrome finished fifth.

Although he did not become a member of the Triple Crown Winners Stable, for a brief moment in time, a three year old Dumbass captured the hearts of millions of Americans. And a few rich guys with hopes that paying out enormous amounts of money for stud fees will result in their mares having Mad Monkey Thoroughbred Horsey Sex with California Chrome, thus producing a Future Dumbass and potential Triple Crown Winner.

Or possibly another Son of Alpo from Glue of Elmers.

Official Fearless Leader Dumbass Declaration

It is with great pride that on this date 9 June 2014, I, Fearless Leader of the Dumbass Horde, hereby bestow all due Honors of Dumbassery on a One-of-a-Kind Dumbass Horse and by the Powers vested in me by Me do forthwith and verily declare that California Chrome shall in perpetuity be known as The Unofficial Official Thoroughbred Horsey of Dumbass News.
California Chrome - Unofficial Official Horse of Dumbass News

May he run free in the Greenest of Pastures and have Mad Monkey Thoroughbred Horsey Sex with the Hottest of Fillies.

God bless you, California Chrome.



Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings Google

Follow Us