Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Wanna Miss a Dental Appointment? Create a Kidnapping Hoax! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wanna Miss a Dental Appointment? Create a Kidnapping Hoax!

Ooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

A new fake kidnapping story!

With a twist.

As if faking your own kidnapping isn't twisted enough.

Clue to The Twist: dentist. 

I have written a couple of stories about fake kidnappings.
It is my Considered Professional Kidnap Hoax Opinion that both of these Dumbasses had some very legitimate reasons for their actions, I can think of more effective (and non-felonious) methods to employ  which will achieve the desired results.

In the first case above, a D-I-V-O-R-C-E lawyer immediately springs to mind.

With regards to the second example, I'm thinking that a bouquet of roses, a nice supper (not at McDonalds) and perhaps a five carat diamond ring would be most persuasive in re-garnering the affections an inattentive former sweetie pie.

Such sage advice is one reason that I am a Fearless Leader and these two guys are mere Dumbasses.

While my influence on Dumbassery is global, not every body pays attention.

With that in mind, let us delve into today's story in hopes of salvaging a life that has at a much-too-young age turned down the Expressway to Ineptitude.


Stoopididity Trifecta: Kid, Fwench & a Dumbass

From the outset the 12 year old kid in today's story has two strikes against him - he's Fwench and he's a 12
year old kid. This is a sad way to live - as a Fwench kid that is. Hell, it's s ad way to live as a Fwench anything!

Luckily the boy didn't get a head start in the Dumbassery Department.

However, once he went Dumbass, he went all in.

Let me splain.

  • The Kid was facing a situation that would scare the hell out of any kid.
  • And 99% of Fwench men.
  • The Kid devises a plan!
  • He stages his own kidnapping!
  • He eludes Fwench authorities for over a month.
  • This is not a surprise.
  • The Fwench Authorities are, well, Fwench.
  • With the promise of a lifetime supply of Chocolate Mousse, The Kid confesses to the Fwench Authorities that he faked the entire saga because he was scared to death of what awaited him.
  • A visit to the dentist!
  • The Kid will make an exemplary Fwench Man.
  • And I use the words "exemplary" and "Fwench" in the same sentence under protest.
Dumbass.

Vive la Fwance!

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