Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: WOOPS! Old Guy Looks for Love Online;Sets Up Date w/Daughter In Law! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Sunday, June 1, 2014

WOOPS! Old Guy Looks for Love Online;Sets Up Date w/Daughter In Law!

Best of Dumbass News

I love the internet.

Without the Ole Triple Dub (that's "www." for you Dumbass Yoopers) I could not write Dumbass News. That means that over 300,000 Dumbasses in 169 countries would have no source for the information that matters.

While the prospect of no more Dumbass News would certainly thrill many Dumbasses on the West Coast and in Fwance, the World at Large is in need of the type of journalistic integrity found only on this very blog. I mean, where would you rather get your Daily Dose of Dumbassery? From propaganda "news" outlets like PMSNBC, CNN, CNBC or here?

I rest my case.

Online Dating

The explosion in the popularity of online dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony.com and Zoosk.com have changed the way that hundreds of millions of people seek love and companionship. Long gone (almost) are the days of actually meeting a man or woman face to face at Church, College or work with the possibility of falling in love and getting married. Meeting someone online has come a long way since the "a/s/l" days of AOL chat rooms.

Now days, online scams matchmaking has become very "scientific". Match, eHarmony and Zoosk go to great lengths to gather information from their clients, in hopes of pairing them up with Mr./Miss Right, with varying degrees of success.

A Lonely (and by "lonely", I mean "horny") Guy in Muling, China was hoping to find a Chinese Slut true love by using the Chinese version of Match.com, LoveYouLongTime.com

After many unsuccessful attempts, The Lonely Chinese Guy finally found a Lonely Young Chinese Lady who tripped his trigger, IYKWIMAITYD.

So, a rendezvous was set up.

Did I mention that The Lonely Young Chinese Lady was also a Married Lonely Young Chinese Lady?

As a matter of fact, unbeknownst to either of them, The Married Lonely Young Chinese Lady was married to The Lonely Chinese Guy's son!

I know that this will be very difficult to believe, but The Lonely Chinese Guy and his would-be conquest used fake photos and names during their online encounters.

This circumstance created a very awkward situation when the Two Lonely Chinese People saw each other in person for the first time. Upon recognizing one another as each other's hook up, The Married Lonely Young Chinese Lady made an abrupt u-turn and began hauling ass.The situation was further exacerbated when she ran head on into -you guessed it(!)- The Lonely Chinese Guy's Son! 

Apparently, The Married Lonely Young Chinese Whore had left the details of her attempted sluttery in an email on her computer and The Lonely Chinese Guy's Son discovered it.

Anyway....The Son beat the shit out of his Dad resulting in severe trauma to Dad's skull, then continued his rampage by assaulting his wife and knocking out some of her teeth!

Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors. - Confucius

He who tries to have Horizontal Kung Fu with son's wife, gets whole caved-in skull. - Fearless Leader

Dumbasses.

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