Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Zoo Emergency Drill! Guy in Gorilla Suit Shot W/Tranquilizer Dart! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Zoo Emergency Drill! Guy in Gorilla Suit Shot W/Tranquilizer Dart!

My two youngest kids are 7 and 11 years old.

Neither of them has ever been to a zoo.

I live in Augusta, Maine and I'm even sure where the nearest zoo is located.

Portland maybe? Even if that's the case, The Peoples Republic of Portland is sixty miles away. On top of that, for a round trip from here to there and back, I'd spend almost $20 on tolls just for the privilege of using Interstate 95.

Fuck that.

If my kids wanna see wild animals up close and personal, we have Animal Planet and Nat Geo Wild on our cable system.

Or, they could grab a lawn chair and sit out front and observe our neighbors.

I'm just sayin'.

The Spanish island of Tenerife, on the other hand, has a very nice zoo. It would probably also be cheaper to take a cruise ship from the USA to Spain and see the Tenerife Zoo than it would to go to Portland and back

A few days ago, horror beset this zoo!

A gorilla escaped its compound!

Hola!

The proper zoo authorities were notified and the search for the wayward ape was on.

After a while of searching, and a siesta, the gorilla was located.

Enter the zoo veterinarian.

And a gun that shoots tranquilizer darts.

Taking careful aim, the vet blasted the gorilla with enough tranquilizer to sedate a 200 kg (over 400 lbs) beast.

There was, however, one minor problem...

This was a drill rehearsing what would happen if a gorilla escaped!

You probably asking yourself, "Well, isn't the way this sort of emergency is supposed to play out?"

The answer to that is "Yes".

Oh....I forgot to mention that there was one other small problem.

It wasn't an escaped gorilla that was shot with tranquilizer dart, it was a man dressed up in a gorilla suit practicing for the Escaped Gorilla Capture Drill!

The Guy is gonna be OK.

Dumbasses.

8 comments:

  1. lmao! kids really haven't been to a zoo? nice! i admire your style!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Dumbass Dome Zoo is when I put one of the kids in a cage and let the other one admire her.

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  2. Ahaha observe the neighbours. Sleeping Gorilla man in a suit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well mine are nuts too! They all fight with each other. We stay neutral and out of it. But we hear the bashing. The neighbour living next door to us is constantly verbally abusing his wife. All us surrounding neighbours hear it.

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  3. LOL on your neighbors being wild animals and enough for your kids to experience wildlife! Ja,ja,ja! Poor gorilla-man. OUCH! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Con mucha suerte, Gorilla Man no se murio!

      Delete

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