Google+ swCj71E42RfqfgWx3JOogUovB8w Dumbass News: Drunk Lady on Stolen Horse Attempts to Go On Crime Spree! : o77OwPu8GHYudT_bxY1ohX-tzdw

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Drunk Lady on Stolen Horse Attempts to Go On Crime Spree!

We have covered some wild ass DUI stories here on Dumbass News.

For Example
Down in DeKalb County Alabama they do DUI a little differently than many other places do DUI. At least drunk Alabama wimmin do.

To begin with, there is of course the obligatory first step of getting obliterated.

Speaking from the perspective of a Former Professional Drinker, I can without reservation tell you that it is at this point that the real fun begins.

Next on the Get Commode-Huggin' Drunk and Commit Crimes Against Persons and the State To Do List is to, with malice and aforethought, plan a criminal act - say, like, a robbery.

The next step in this process is to steal a horse. Lord knows that a Drunk Dumbass behind the wheel of a motor vehicle is a terrible idea. A Drunk Dumbass on a horse on the other hand is a much better idea.<---Dripping Sarcasm Alert

So the Drunk Lady On the Sober Horse moseys on down to a local food store to initiate the rest of her
Sober Horse (Now in Witness Protection Program)
nefarious nincompoopery.

However we all know that the best laid plans of mice and men (and Drunk Redneck Chicks on stolen horses) often go astray.

And that's exactly what happened here.

The Drunk Lady On the Sober Horse caused a big ruckus at the scene of the crime and was dealt with accordingly by the Drunk Lady On Sober Horse Task Force of the DeKalb County, Alabama Sheriff's Department.

No word on whether she tried to defeat the breathalyzer by sucking Second Hand Ass from her underwear.

The Sober Horse was given a Red Delicious Apple and released on his own recognizance.


***Hat Tip HuffPo ***

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